Wow, guess i haven't written on here in a while eh?  Well, things are on the up and up so to say.  Justin is in jail, he's been in jail since Dec. 21st.  He's waiting to be sentenced on Feb. 24th.  The day he pleaded guilty was almost as heart wrenching as the day my daughter disclosed.  It was difficult for sure.  I didn't go to court, i haven't gone once, the one and only time was when i was suppose to testify and then landed up not even having to testify at all.  So i haven't even set foot into a court room.  Which i'm glad.  His family is definitely going through a lot.  the same week Justin went to jail their grandpa died. 
Things are surreal for sure but things are starting to become "normal" again, as fucked up as our new "normal" is.  I'm hopeful for mine and my girls future but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't scared.  I am for sure, the future is unknown.  Financially it definitely sucks and i'm still living with my folks.  My brother and me want to get a place together, but i'm hesitant to move in with my brother, but i'm also desperate enough to give it a go just to get out of my mother's basement! 
Things are getting better, my daughter still and probably will her whole life, has emotional problems.  She'll start crying all of a sudden and she won't know why.  We talked to her therapist about it, and she said she's probably just hormonal and asked if she had gotten her period yet.  Sure enough, like a month or so later she got her first period.  So i dunno!  Me and her have bonded a lot over this whole sexual abuse coming out, and she hangs out with me a lot more than she did before.  On Monday she leaves for outdoor lab.  I'm sad about it and excited for her, because i remember i had a lot of fun when i went to outdoor lab. 
Work is good, my boss told me the other day he's gonna have me do new stuff, so that's exciting!  I was starting to actually hate what they were having me do, and was starting to get pissed off.  I am not going to work for Whole Foods for very long though i've decided.  I'm gaining experience at this point, but i'm not going to stick around for a long time.  I hope at least, who knows with the way the economy is.  I've got to have the courage of my convictions and keep my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road :)
Not a day goes by that i don't think of Justin.  I can't help it, he was the love of my life up till now, i can't help but think about how he's doing.  I don't ask his family about him at all.  I can't, i don't want to know.  the less i know the easier it is for me to deal with. 
I've gotten into wine quite a lot!!!  I guess it started out as a way of me trying to cope with all this shit going on, but bottle after bottle i drank, i started to realize i really love the taste of a good wine!  Ha, so i have joined two different wine clubs and got my first shipment a couple weeks ago, and i love it!  It was actually my signed Maynard James Keenan 2006 Chupacabra that made me fall in love with drinking wine.  Then on my birthday i drank the 2005 bottle Justin had bought for me years and years ago, and that wine was just absolutely amazing!  So i ordered some Arizona Stronghold wines cause they were having free shipping promotion for like a month.  So i stocked up and drank them, and they were so delicious!
So yeah, i've not only have fallen in love with wine, i've fallen in love with Maynard James Keenan all over again.  His wine is so fucking delicious, it's his wine that's responsible for me developing a palate for good wine. 
Anyhow, i'm getting sleepy and i go back to work tomorrow, so i'm am off to bed!  Wish me luck in all my endeavours, i don't know when i'll get back on here and write again.  See ya....