end of the world post

So they say the world might end. So i might as well update my poor neglected blog. What can I say, if the world really does end it ended with me being happy.  That's saying a lot considering all the bullshit i was put through last year. I feel like if i lived through that i can live through anything. Through meeting and becoming friends with some amazing people over the past year, I made it through the darkest period of my life and came out the other side a better person. I still think of Justin from time to time, it still hurts that he betrayed me in such a horrible, awful way, and if i allow myself to really think about it, i still do cry and it still does hurt like hell. I can't say now that he was the love of my life, because if he really was he would of never done what he did. I don't think he ever did really love me, I have a hard time believing someone could love someone else and do something like that to them. Call it mental illness or whatever excuse you want to use, it wasn't love he had for me. He stayed with me that whole time so he could prey my child, there's no other reason.
Anyhow, enough of that. A person could drive themselves mad trying to come up with a logical reason for what he did to me and my daughter. Well, I'm not sure what i've written about on here but this year has been awesome! Met an awesome tattoo artist, that was a whole roller coaster of a relationship with me and that guy, but I still think he was a key person in my life this year to get me out of the hole i was stuck in! got 4 new tattoos out of it, and next year i just plan on letting him give me more :) I'm keeping him in my back pocket, a relationship i'm willing to wait out, i know it won't last long lol
Got back in touch with an old, old friend of mine! My old best friend from fucking Jr. High, my best bitch ever Jenni!!  We have become super close again, and i love her to death! My friends Lisa and Shroom are back in my life after years of them being out of it. Lisa and me hung out a lot during the summer and I got her into Puscifer and wine :) Dare i say she became my little mini me! My old friend Jason from Las Animas, i got to see again after YEARS of us being apart, got to meet his little girls, and we hung out for an entire day during the summer, it was awesome.
FINALLY made it out to Jerome, Arizona.  That without a doubt was the highlight of my year, and i loved every second of it. I think of it still today and i get teary eyed cause it meant SO much to me to go out there. My car failed emissions and i took it to the auto shop and they told me it was $3k to fix my car. I had the money, and my poor 'Stang is my only source of transportation, so i coughed up the money, and my car is running better than it's run in years. So right after during the week of my birthday, i took off in my car to Arizona and didn't look back! I was in Jerome on my 32nd birthday, i drank wine, i saw first hand what Maynard fell in love with, and I fell in love also.  I am planning on returning next year, if the world doesn't end of coarse ;)
Me and my brother made it out to Seattle, washington, a place i've been wanting to go since i was 12 years old! Fell in love with Seattle also, it was gorgeous. Pikes Place Market was incredible! We saw Roger Water's The Wall twice, once in Denver and second time in Seattle. Both times we tripped mushrooms, it was brillant! Recently we saw Alice Cooper and were mad drunk and came home and spur of the moment bought Roger Waters tickets for London next year in September! So if the world doesn't end I also have that to look forward to.
My kids are awesome, I love them to death and am the proudest mom ever for how strong both of them are. There was a good like maybe six month period where i didn't talk to justin's family. It was something i needed, i felt so suffocated with them wanting to see the girls all the time and asking me to fucking have "xmas" with them after the most traumatic event to ever happen to me being caused by their son, brother, cousin, nephew, what the fuck ever he was. It's still weird talking to some of them now, I feel like my life has gotten better and it seems for some of them their life is slowly getting worse. It's hard to watch.
And now we get to my career. Well my chef career at Whole Foods ended in flames, almost literally. I quit, I just couldn't take it anymore, it turned out to be just like Safeway was and in a lot of ways worse than Safeway. At least at Safeway i was getting paid $20 an hour where at WF, i was getting paid $11 an hour and getting bitched out by people i had no respect for what so ever. They fired my friends for fucked up reasons, there towards the end i would cry before i had to clock in. It was that bad.
So my beautiful, wonderful, favorite cousin of mine saw me bitching about being unemployed on Facebook (now mind you, i had only been unemployed for about a week, and not even technically unemployed cause i gave WF a bullshit story that i was in the hospital and had my friend jenni write me up a fake doctor's note, so i was getting paid sick pay) and he sent me a private message telling me he'd hire me as a job recruit for his medical staffing firm. Well, here i am about a month later and I ALMOST have my first job placement!! Ironically this chick is from seattle but is totally willing to move to Denver to get this Nurse Manager job, she's a fucking rock star and a shoe in for this job! They are going to do a phone interview first before she comes out here to be interviewed, but if this chick gets hired it's a cool $6k in my pocket!!! Seriously, the easiest money i've ever made in my life! I work from home, I don't have some bitch yelling at me over stupid shit anymore AND i got my friend who got fired from WF working underneath me as a job recruit and what ever placements he makes, I get a percentage of it!! I love my cousin Shane to death, he just out of the blue gave me a job that is a $40k annual income increase for me! I even started looking for apartments today so i can finally move the fuck out of my mother's basement!
So yeah, seriously if the world ends i will be pissed cause next year is just going to be awesome to!
Oh, one little sad thing did happen this year but it had a happy outcome. My mom had a cancerious cell growing in her breast, but they caught it in time and did surgery and removed it and did radiation therapy on her. Today was her birthday actually and we celebrated her birthday and...I just love my mother to death! I started selling Maynard related crafts i started creating and what do ya know, it took off!! It did better than i ever dreamed! Etsy saved my ass here the last month or so now that i don't have a steady income, people buying clocks and coasters and necklaces and light switch covers saved my ass, and allowed me to put fucking gas in my car lol! I love Etsy!! Thank you to my followers on Instagram who saw my crafts and encouraged me to sell them, without you I'd be even more of a broke ass hoe!! lol

I posted on FB tonight that i will have one regret if the world ends. That i didn't get to say thank you to Cory for being an awesome friend to me during all that shit i was going through with justin. I've developed quite the crush on Cory, we had phone sex. haha, twice. It was very spur of the moment and actually kinda nice. It made me feel awesome that someone is attracted to me :) But i do wish i could of thanked Cory in person, he was there for me when no one else was and that's something i will never forget. well i'm getting sleepy. Time to go to sleep and think about all the money i'll be making for myself and my girls next year :) hopefully this isn't really my last post. Night.