So yesterday i checked out John Gray's book "Why Mars and Venus Collide" from the library. I first heard John Gray on Coast To Coast with George Noory about a year ago and it was one of the best shows i've heard. On the show he went into how men and women react differently to stress and how it leads to fights in relationships.
He recommend the supplements i've been taking ever since and really have done a lot for me. On the show he recommended 5-HTP and PGX. I love the 5-HTP, i call it my happy pill cuz it seriously mellows you out, and i'm kind of an intense, pissed off person to begin with.
Anyway, i'm about half way through the book and i'm really just amazed at what i've read so far. In it, he goes into how literally men and women handle stress differently. And a lot of it is so true, i discovered i've been stressing out my poor boyfriend for years unknowingly! Although he has done the same for me, he's no angel here don't get me wrong. But i read a good majority of it yesterday and when Justin came home i literally noticed all of the little things John Gray points out in the book that men do and i've never really noticed before, weird little things that i always thought was Justin ignoring me when really it is literally how men's brains operate. Like for example, when men come home from work they just want to chill out and relax to lower their stress levels, while women on the other hand come home from work and get more stressed out cuz they see stuff that needs to be done around the house.
Men also to get their testosterone levels back up (testosterone for men lowers stress) after working often need to nap. This is classic Justin! I always thought it was just cuz he's lazy, but John Gray points out in the book women naturally have more energy then men and usually don't need a afternoon nap. At one point during reading it, i had to put it down and i started crying a little cuz i felt so bad that i had been blaming Justin for this and that, and i'm finding out it's just how men's brains are wired. Like for example, men really like to please their women and are always looking to please them or solve their problems for them. Women like to talk to lower their stress levels, so if a women starts talking to her husband about her problems, the man is busy in his brain trying to think of things to solve her problems, when really all she needs is for him to just listen to her.
It also really reminded me of when Justin had told me one time that he really wants to win a poker game to show me how good he is at it, and i've always given him shit about his poker playing when it's just a way for him to lower his stress levels cuz it heightens is testosterone levels. one of the things he goes over in the book is how men NEED to feel appreciated, it lowers stress in men. literally making their women happy, makes men happy. I always thought that was a women thing "i NEED to be appreciated". And he also said the best way to lower a man's stress levels is to just leave him alone! :-D
Women need oxytocin to lower stress and in women what produces that is nurturing, caring, and being motherly basically, it's the "cuddle" hormone. (5-HTP produces oxytocin in women) I can relate to that, like when i cook for my family it's me nurturing my family and it makes me happy. Like nothing makes me more happier in the world is when i cook something for Justin and to hear him say,"Hmm, that's fucking good!" It's the best thing he could ever say to me, it's almost up there with him saying "i love you" Ha! Even being around my girls makes me happy and lowers my stress levels, until they start fighting with eachother.
One thing he doesn't talk about is smoking pot, that totally lowers my stress levels. But he's gone through detoxing and cleansing yourself, drinking superfood (which i started doing again, i did it religiously last year but got lazy and quit drinking it) and taking the supplements he recommends to help, which i've been taking the supplements for over a year now and have really helped me.
Anyway, it's a really good book and has really opened my eyes to a lot of things i didn't know and will definitely help me in the future in my relationship. I'm half way through it, and have 5 more chapters to go. I'll probably finish it today, and then i plan on going back to the library and checking out John Gray's first book "Men are from Mars Women are From Venus".
