The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Step....

Here I am, up in the middle of the night again, where sleep eludes me. I stayed home from work yesterday because i had a huge migraine. No way in hell was i gonna go into to work with a migraine. By the time i went to bed it felt like someone was pounding my head with a hammer. It was bad! So that gives me a total of 12 hours of work for my paycheck next week, that's lovely.
So i blogged about this before but i had deleted the post like a day or so later. Actually i went and cleared out a SHIT LOAD of posts i had on here, where i was giving out too much information about myself. Like the saying goes with age comes wisdom and i've learned how privacy on the Internet and really your everyday life is a rarity now.
Anyhow, i recently a few days ago started taking on line courses to get my High School Diploma. I dropped out and never did get my GED. That's really the main reason why i've stuck with Safeway all these years is cuz i'm just afraid no one else will hire me. So with the new year here and already all kinds of changes are happening in my family, being new homeowners being a big part of it, life without a pet in the house, the girls going to a new school, living in a whole new area of the state.
I also listened to a show on Coast To Coast where this guy was on there talking about how he teaches like motivational classes that he calls "The last year of your life." Where you basically live your whole year like it was the last year of your life. Like you don't go and do crazy shit, but you basically put all your goals and desires, that are within a reasonable reach, and try to achieve those goals.
So at my job I am majorly being screwed over. I have almost ten years with the company, a shit load of seniority and i keep getting shafted with 20 hours week after week and my store manager just can't seem to find extra hours for me. So i've decided as long as they're gonna fuck me over with my hours, i'm gonna spend the time off earning my High School Diploma so i can go to culinary school and get the fuck out of Safeway. Now i do plan on staying with Safeway to fund myself through school, but eventually i do plan on leaving that fucking cess pit.
I just look at the poor lady i work with and she's been doing the same shit for 30 something years. Some nights there is just NOTHING to do, and she's there 40 hours a week doing god knows what. It would be a good job to have at one of the bigger Safeway's but the store i'm at is kind of small.
Another factor in all this for me is the fact that i'm gonna be turning 30 this year. No more twenties for me after this year. That fact alone has really made me put my life into perspective. As for as my home life goes, i am the happiest person in the world. My boyfriend would probably question that cuz he says i complain a lot, which i do, but people living together tend to bicker about one another, that's normal. I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world though, I am a very lucky girl.

As far as my career life goes, it's really pretty sad. I ran into this kid i use to work with when i was still a cashier during the days, and he's all an adult now, working at a liquor store. When he saw me and we got to talking he was like,"You're STILL working for Safeway?" God, it was really embarrassing. But when i explained to him what i've been doing the last 4 and half years for Safeway he understood why i've stayed. Really, what i'm doing now for the company is a pretty kick ass job if you take away the shitty hours as a factor. Basically i get paid to listen to my pod casts, and hang stickers on the shelves of the store, and i don't even have to deal with management all that often. Shit, i'm considered management and i'm hardly ever there! I can come in when i want, and basically leave when i want as long as my work is done and i don't get in trouble.
It is pretty kick ass, but the hours are pretty shitty. Basically from what my store manager told me, if my boss were to retire today he would give me her job. But i really don't want it. I have goals and desires now that i didn't have ten years ago. I don't want to walk into Safeway day in and day out, hearing the same awful fucking music they play all day long for the rest of my life. God shoot me now if that is my destiny! I would rather be dead then work for Slaveway the rest of my life. I am almost 30 and i have nothing to show for the fruits of my labor but a bunch of cooking utensils, a new stove, and a car that is in bad need of body work.
The managers i work with do not inspire me to go further into the company, they inspire me to get the fuck out so i don't become one of them.
Ever since my second child was born, i really struggled with my identity and who i really am. My size 5 figure that was everything i thought disappeared and i panicked, and went through hell trying to figure out why my identity was going away. It really wasn't, i was just totally shallow back then. And not even necessarily towards men, i was very shallow towards myself, i was a very vain person.
Now, i'm more happier than i have ever been, even being stuck with a job i'm unhappy with. But at least i got up enough courage within myself to take the first step towards digging myself out of this hole i've dug myself in.
Like the saying goes "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Taking these online courses has really surprised me with how much i know with shit i never paid attention to in school. I finished the Economics and U.S. Government coarse both in one day. The U.S. Government one took me about 2 hours. Now in high school i did pay attention when i took American Government. I remember that's when we watched "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington". But Economics, i never took. I dropped out before economics was even an option to take. The Economics coarse i was so surprised, was so fucking easy for me! I didn't even have to read the book that came with it!! Even with the U.S. Government one, i had to read over a few chapters cuz i kept getting some questions wrong. But the Economics one i breezed right through, it took me about 30 minutes. And all of my basic knowledge (and that's all it was, the coarse is even called "Basic Economics") is all thanks to Congressman Ron Paul for educating me! Seriously cuz all the questions in the course is shit that Ron Paul talks about all the time! Keynesian economics vs Austrian economics.
what really pissed me off though, in both courses though, is they didn't go into it enough on certain subjects. Like they explain to you that the Bill Of Rights is inherent rights given to you by God and not by the government. But they never explain why your rights are so important.
And the Economics coarse doesn't get into the Federal Reserve and how they regulate the currency and how it's unconstitutional and how the Congress, in the Constitution, is suppose to coin and regulate the money supply. In fact in the entire Economics coarse they don't even mention the Fed, not once!!! But anyway, i was really surprised with myself the amount of basic knowledge i have over economics. It's really pretty simple, i don't know why people seem to think it's so fucking complicated. Well, it's four in the morning now, i should try to get some sleep or i'll sleep all day. See ya...

A Tale Of Two Speeches

How Weed Won The West

"Upon the altar of God I pledge eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man "- Thomas Jefferson

I can't wait to see this, Kevin Booth the guy that did "American Drug War" now has come out with a new documentary about the war on marijuana. The medical marijuana issue has been a topic of discussion lately here in Colorado because city counsels are getting together and putting their iron hand of tyranny on the freedom and liberty we have here in Colorado to use medical marijuana, and not be forced to take pharmaceuticals.
From what i've heard about the new documentary is that Kevin Booth goes at it from the angle that we all should be looking at this issue of legalizing pot, is that it's a state's rights issue.
10th amendment to the Constitution, states can pass laws and the Federal government can not step in and over rule those laws. So if your state becomes tyrannical you always have the option of moving to another state to escape that states tyrannical laws, that's just another bastion of freedom given to us in the Constitution.
All these states voters voted to legalize medical marijuana, but yet our Federal government still steps in and says "No" like they're our mommy. For here in Colorado it's been our own local governments lately that have tried to be like a mommy state lately. Throw em out, i say!!
And that's a fascist tyrannical government for ya.