God damn it! Well this just sucks! I went and bought some melatonin today, even read a chapter about insomnia and sleeplessness in my "Mars on Ice Venus on Fire" book, in which he even recommends melatonin. Anyhow, it worked in making me sleepy and i slept for a good 2 and half hours but it failed in keeping me asleep. In the chapter of my Mars and Venus book i read he goes into how sleep is essential for lowering stress levels and relaxing, and how it's good for your overall well being to get a good nights sleep. He didn't however address the issue of people who work nights and have a hard time sleeping good at night.
Oh well, i guess. I finally finished that "Mars on Ice Venus on Fire" book though, i started it the beginning of the year i think and never finished it till yesterday. It was good, like all his other books i finished it with a sense of having goals and motivation and a better understanding of my boyfriend and how his brain is wired as opposed to mine.
One of the things i could totally relate with in the chapter where he was covering insomnia, he talked about how women tend to wake up from sleep and have a million things on their mind and start worrying about things, or they tend to their "to do list", he says women have a never ending "to do list" which is so true it's not even funny. Which is why most women when they come home from work can't just sit down and relax because they come home and see all the shit that needs to be done around the house, and it makes stress levels rise, rather than in a man when he comes home from work his stress levels come down cuz he can just come home and flop in front of the t.v. and relax.
It's so true though, i'll be tired as fuck when i come home from work, even on a day i had school the day before and i'll come home and see shit on the kitchen table or the front living room and i'll start to pick shit up instead of just relaxing. It's so true, there is always shit to do in the mind of a woman.
Well, anyway, tomorrow is the last day of the year. I'm pretty proud of myself for the stuff i set out for myself at the beginning of the year, and i accomplished all of it! I started out with two new years resolutions, and that was to get my high school diploma (check) and to start culinary school (check)! So since i followed through with my goals this year i come into 2011 with an optimism of new goals i have set for myself. I'm gonna try my damnist to keep to em just like i did this year.
So here is my list of goals for 2011:
1. Fully concentrate on my schooling and not miss so many days like i did this last semester.
2. Work on my relationship with my boyfriend, don't dwell on past mistakes he or i have made and hopefully get him to read Men are From Mars Women are From Venus, which will help us with our communication and we can work from there TOGETHER. I realized the last 6 months that i can't make miracles work on my own. I confided in him that this year, without a doubt in my mind, has been the most difficult for me emotionally because of the last 6 months. A relationship is a team effort and i ultimately need his help, attention and support if we're gonna make our relationship work. He says he's willing to do anything to make it work, so hopefully that anything includes reading John Gray's book, which has helped me.
3. Concentrate more on my health by eating healthier, concentrating more on what i put in my body, and possibly if i can afford to buy a treadmill so i can exercise more. Try and lose some weight, i'm not gonna set my goals too high being that i am in culinary school, but ya know a good 20 pounds is a good goal to have.
I walk a shit load at work, but adding more to that wouldn't hurt. I have fallen off the wagon and started drinking soda more than i should, eating processed msg food again and fast food. I did however start drinking my green superfood smoothies everyday like i use to, my boyfriend even bought me a new blender for Xmas, so that is already a step in the right direction. I love em, they give me great energy and you don't have that sugar or caffeine crash.
4. Last but not least, find a job closer to home! Ever since we moved i've still been stuck working across town which a good 40 minute drive away. I will try real hard to find a job in the bakery if i can, if not well i guess i'll have to suck it up and be a cashier again or just out right find a new job all together! We'll see, but that is a goal i'm setting for myself.
And that's pretty much it, i think it sums up the most important factors in my life that i think need my immediate attention in order to fulfill my happiness. One thing John Gray did point out in the book i just finished that really hit me is he pointed out that your mate is not responsible for your happiness. They are responsible for 10% of your happiness, that 10% is the most important but they are not responsible for the other 90%, that is fully your own responsibility. They way he put it is, your mate is suppose to make your happier not happy. Which i totally resonate with. He pointed out women who were married and divorced and live alone and are totally happy always tell him the reason why they're happy now is because they learned how to make themselves happy and not to rely on someone else to fulfill their happiness.
My boyfriend obviously makes me happy or i wouldn't of stayed with him this long, but it's not up to him to make me happy or to entertain me, that ultimately relies on myself. Which is so true and i wish i would of known that at the beginning of our relationship, it would of saved us a lot of anguish and stress. Ha, a lot of stuff John Gray has taught me i wish i would of known back when we first got together, maybe it would of saved me the 2 years i lost when i was in a depression!
See, like i said i love reading his books cuz i walk away with a greater understanding of my relationship and i have a rejuvenated feeling of goals to set for us and positivity runs through me. I great attitude to have going into the new year, yet again this new year i will be looking at it like i did this last year. This is the last year of my life, i'm setting goals for myself and i will accomplish them! Happy New Year ya'll!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Ahh! I can't sleep again! I made the mistake of taking a nap earlier and now i can't sleep when i'm suppose to be asleep. Typical. So it's the wretched holiday season, fucking Xmas again, boo fucking hoo!! I finished my shopping early this year (yay, me!) Even wrapped most of the presents and they are under the tree already. I didn't do a whole lot of online shopping this year, i did the majority of it for the girls at Target. Really the only thing about the holidays i like is the holiday pay at work and the baking and cooking. Haven't done a whole lot of the baking yet. The girls and me tried to make cookies with the cookie presses my boyfriend and my dad bought for me a while ago. I think my dough needed a little more water because they were kind of hard to press out, we landed up making only like six cookies.
Today we're gonna make gingerbread people. My daughter calls it our girls night cuz my boyfriend will be gone tonight.
So school has been good, when i've actually have been there. I've missed SOOO much school the last two months, i feel bad, it's gonna take me forever just to get through level one now.
This week is our last week then we're on Xmas break for two weeks. I quite honestly have been having some doubts in myself and my decision to do the whole culinary school thing. For one, the school is fun and all but like i've said before it's not as technically oriented as i would like. I really wish i could afford to go to a better school, but i'm poor folk! So far this year i've only made $20,000!!! Seriously, i mean who makes that? Me!! Starting next year though i'm seriously gonna start looking for doughnut fryer positions around where i live so i won't have to drive across town anymore, or maybe just see if i could find a Starbucks position in a Safeway if i get desperate enough.
I'm gonna look at the new year in the same light that i did last year, i'm gonna look at it like it's the last year of my life and i'm gonna set some goals for myself and go for it. This last year i did that and i set out and got my High School Diploma, AND started going to culinary school! I can do it! I have to say though, this last year has been the most stressful in a long time. We bought a house, i started school, and it all kind of put a financial stress on us. This is the first year in all of our 8 years together that we got in a fight about money! Our first time ever!! You talk to most couples and they argue about money a lot, well not us.
I dunno, gotta look at the glass half full right? Our 8 year anniversary is on the 17th. Kind of sad though, i don't have anymore money to spend on him. December in general is financially stressful, i got Xmas, my dad's birthday, my mother's birthday and our anniversary all in one month! I really wanted to get my boyfriend something really cool this year too because last year, totally fucking surprise he got me this cute little laptop i'm typing on right now! And it has been absolutely awesome having my very own computer the last year, and i really wanna repay him cuz i feel like i can never top this kick ass present he bought me for a holiday i absolutely, with every fiber of my being, dislike. That and i can't believe we've been together 8 years, it's crazy. I never thought anyone could put up with me and my craziness. Ahh, but i wouldn't trade the time i've spent with him to spend with anyone else in the whole world.
Ok, i'll stop, i'm getting all sentimental.
Well, work sucks as usual. Last week my the lady i work with who runs our department went on vacation so i had to cover for her. Of coarse we had a reset while she was gone, on a Tuesday night of all nights. Tuesday nights is our biggest nights for price changes cuz that's when the old ad ends and the new one starts, and resets are when a crew of people come in and set in new product and move shit around on the shelves. It's a real pain in the ass for us cuz we have to make all the price tags the reset crew needs and we can't hang any tags we have down any aisles that they're working down, we have to wait till they're done, which usually isn't till like 5 in the morning when our shifts are ending and everyone is getting ready to leave for the day! This time around it wasn't too bad, but i still got an hour of overtime waiting on them. Other than that the week went by really smooth. I got a night off in the middle of the week, and i actually got a Friday night off for a change. The lady i work with knows i'm in school now, so i think she split up some of the shifts cuz of that, which is funny cuz i didn't even go to school all last week! I really hope Chef Tim doesn't give me shit about it on Tuesday. Oh well, i'll find out.
Well, i'm gonna go, i've ran out of things to talk about. See ya later...
Today we're gonna make gingerbread people. My daughter calls it our girls night cuz my boyfriend will be gone tonight.
So school has been good, when i've actually have been there. I've missed SOOO much school the last two months, i feel bad, it's gonna take me forever just to get through level one now.
This week is our last week then we're on Xmas break for two weeks. I quite honestly have been having some doubts in myself and my decision to do the whole culinary school thing. For one, the school is fun and all but like i've said before it's not as technically oriented as i would like. I really wish i could afford to go to a better school, but i'm poor folk! So far this year i've only made $20,000!!! Seriously, i mean who makes that? Me!! Starting next year though i'm seriously gonna start looking for doughnut fryer positions around where i live so i won't have to drive across town anymore, or maybe just see if i could find a Starbucks position in a Safeway if i get desperate enough.
I'm gonna look at the new year in the same light that i did last year, i'm gonna look at it like it's the last year of my life and i'm gonna set some goals for myself and go for it. This last year i did that and i set out and got my High School Diploma, AND started going to culinary school! I can do it! I have to say though, this last year has been the most stressful in a long time. We bought a house, i started school, and it all kind of put a financial stress on us. This is the first year in all of our 8 years together that we got in a fight about money! Our first time ever!! You talk to most couples and they argue about money a lot, well not us.
I dunno, gotta look at the glass half full right? Our 8 year anniversary is on the 17th. Kind of sad though, i don't have anymore money to spend on him. December in general is financially stressful, i got Xmas, my dad's birthday, my mother's birthday and our anniversary all in one month! I really wanted to get my boyfriend something really cool this year too because last year, totally fucking surprise he got me this cute little laptop i'm typing on right now! And it has been absolutely awesome having my very own computer the last year, and i really wanna repay him cuz i feel like i can never top this kick ass present he bought me for a holiday i absolutely, with every fiber of my being, dislike. That and i can't believe we've been together 8 years, it's crazy. I never thought anyone could put up with me and my craziness. Ahh, but i wouldn't trade the time i've spent with him to spend with anyone else in the whole world.
Ok, i'll stop, i'm getting all sentimental.
Well, work sucks as usual. Last week my the lady i work with who runs our department went on vacation so i had to cover for her. Of coarse we had a reset while she was gone, on a Tuesday night of all nights. Tuesday nights is our biggest nights for price changes cuz that's when the old ad ends and the new one starts, and resets are when a crew of people come in and set in new product and move shit around on the shelves. It's a real pain in the ass for us cuz we have to make all the price tags the reset crew needs and we can't hang any tags we have down any aisles that they're working down, we have to wait till they're done, which usually isn't till like 5 in the morning when our shifts are ending and everyone is getting ready to leave for the day! This time around it wasn't too bad, but i still got an hour of overtime waiting on them. Other than that the week went by really smooth. I got a night off in the middle of the week, and i actually got a Friday night off for a change. The lady i work with knows i'm in school now, so i think she split up some of the shifts cuz of that, which is funny cuz i didn't even go to school all last week! I really hope Chef Tim doesn't give me shit about it on Tuesday. Oh well, i'll find out.
Well, i'm gonna go, i've ran out of things to talk about. See ya later...
Monday, November 15, 2010
Howdy y'all! Just kidding! Long time no blog eh? Well tomorrow is my daughter's birthday, she's gonna be 11. It's crazy, i can't believe it. Then after that is the start of the dreaded holidays. My favorite time of year.. NOT. Well, things since the last time i blogged have fizzled back to normal. Things between me and my boyfriend are calm, the kissing ass that followed the Facebook incident have all but faded away. I kind have gone back to my bummy self of staying in my pj's all day again, but i try not to. It seems pointless anyway cuz even if i don't stay in my pajama's all day, i still get no word from the man's mouth. A lot of women go through this i'm finding out. I've been opening my mouth more to women and talking about it and they say the same thing about their men. So i guess I'm not alone especially when you've been in a relationship as long as we have. I have found out that a lot of women don't get flowers or compliments from their men until they go through marrage counciling and that's when the man finally gets it through his head how important it is to women to have their men compliment them.
When i was a size 5 i could dress up and feel sexy no problem. Now that i have a pear shaped body it's a totally different story! I have a very hard time now, i just feel embarassed. We went to my boyfriends cousin's wedding recently and i actually had to dress up. Let me tell ya, that was the most uncomfortable i've ever been! I couldn't wait to get home and get in my yoga pants and t-shirt! Ha! My boyfriend was really nice, he did compliment me but he said i looked "nice" which is something you'd say to your mother, but he also did kiss me a lot and told me he loved me, so i guess beggars can't be choosers! :) If i do have enough money left over after i get my tax return next year, i do plan on buying a tread mill, that'll be cool, i walk all the time at work anyway, it's something i'm good at, and i can also burn some pod casts while doing that.
So school is going good. The start of September we got a whole crop of new people so i've made some new friends, they're all pretty cool. Did i mention the blind guy here before? Well, there's this old man Joe, he's really nice but he's legally blind and he needs A LOT of help around the kitchen and he's kind of a pain in the ass. We went to a food show a while back and we were walking around with Joe and towards the end we lost him! This one girl was like,"is it bad that we lost the blind guy?" But when it was time to leave we found him at the front of the building with some people from the day class.
Chef Tim freaks out and totally goes off on people sometimes and i get such a kick out of it! He hasn't yelled at me yet.. YET! I was really scared last time cuz we made salmon, and we had to make a beau blanc sauce with it. Well, i've never made a beau blanc sauce and it's actually pretty hard cuz it breaks pretty easy, and mine broke both times. So when i showed him my plate i was scared out of my wits he was gonna yell at me over the sauce, but he got.. um, i guess irritated is the right word. At least he didn't yell.
So at the top of this post i posted a picture of Chef Tim i found on my school's website, so there he is in all of his Cheffy Glory! I've learned a lot so far 4 months or so into my adventure into culinary school. Now i'm starting to notice all the Chef's i watch on t.v. always have some culinary school story, and i totally see why cuz culinary school is honestly the funnest thing i have ever done with my life and i'm so glad i decided to ball up and do it. I wish i could afford to go to a better more expensive one, our list of ingredients at my school are pretty limited. Not only that but like basic utensils and equipment are pretty old and could use updating. Some students bring in their own little utensils from home. I've been thinking of doing that too but it's just more shit i'd have to drag onto the light rail with me. Well, i'm gonna try and get some sleep before i gotta pick up the girls from school. I got a shit load of baking to do later, see ya...
Monday, September 27, 2010
So i turned 30 this past weekend. yeah, hooray, here comes the first stepping stones towards old age!! Yay!! It was the first birthday i ever had where i just wanted people not to remember that it was my birthday, and for the most part besides close family, people did, so that worked out in my favor!
A lot in recent events has made me feel really old. My boyfriend flirting with women online, that ultimately made me feel like i was "losing it" as far as my looks and my sex appeal go.
Joining Facebook and seeing all my old friends and how old they have gotten and seen that practically EVERYONE is married with kids now, seeing my family who i haven't seen in forever and seeing how old THEY are, the baby cousins i have that are now teenagers or young adults with babies of their own on the way! Not to mention i've been having sore shoulder muscle problems lately, on my actual birthday i was sore from work and school a couple days before. Luckily i don't look 30, most people think i'm like 18 or 19. Cool i guess.
So my parents gave me $100 in cash, which is sweet cuz i ask for money every year and nobody ever just gives me money, well my parents did this year. So i went shopping for clothes, cuz all of my clothes i fucking hate, i wish i could burn all of em but then i'd have nothing to wear. So i bought 2 new pairs of jeans, 2 shirts, new pj pants and a pj shirt. I usually hate going shopping for clothes but this time it wasn't so bad.
They all fit, which is cool, usually i'll bring em home and they don't fit, not this time they all fit perfect. I bought a really pretty silk dress that was on clearance online. Then my brother gave me a gift card and i bought a bunch of kitchen stuff with that.
My boyfriend bought me a robe, which should make him happy, he didn't like me using his for some reason. I like it, it's soft unlike his :-P My favorite though was my girls giving me a foot massage! That was awesome! My feet hurt all the time now, now i know how my poor dad felt all these years with arthritis in his feet. Well i guess if anything i can say i'm in somewhat of good health, at least i'm not popping pharmaceuticals everyday, that i can say.
When i get my tax return i plan on buying a treadmill if i can afford it. The past few months trying to concentrate on my physical appearance has kind of gotten me down a bit. I just don't look like how i use to, it's hard to deal with i guess. I really try not to dwell on it, but when you have a boyfriend telling you that you gotta concentrate more on how you look day to day, it's really tough.
Anyway enough about me and how old i am now, i really wanted to post on here and some 9/11/01 research i've been doing the past month. Of coarse we had the 9 year anniversary of 9/11 this month and i stumbled across this amazing website called "archive.com" or something, it might be "archive.org" i don't remember at this very moment but it has complete archived footage of all the major mainstream news reports from that day. It's awesome!!! So station by station i've been watching all the videos, they have each channel archived on 9/11 from 8:30 a.m. till about 11:30 p.m. Of coarse the most dramatic of the footage on each channel is on the ones from 9:00 to 10:00 when the second plane hits the second tower of the WTC, and people just fucking panic on air! The NBC one, when the second plane hits, you can hear everyone panic and gasp in the background and Katie Couric and Matt Laurer try to stay calm.
The station that did the best job and it very telling i think is the ABC news coverage. Peter Jennings did a great job that day i think. I remember that day at home we were mostly watching NBC and not ABC.
Anyway my point is there is a lot of telling things that came out that very morning that the 9/11 Commission just simply ignored, but it was all over the news that morning, reported on almost every station. People in NY reported hearing bombs going off, seeing flashes of lights before the first building fell, in Virgina which is interesting a lot of people reported seeing the airplane, but most interesting on every station they showed the same guy over and over again. We've all seen him, he's the one and only guy that reports to seeing an American Airlines plane, he says "you could see the AA on the side of the plane" when other people reported it being a smaller plane. It's all so fucking crazy! And when United 93 got shot down, they even reported that! And within hours the DOD made sure to get out on the air that that was not true!! And what was even more crazy to me was around 5:00, 20 minutes before WTC building number 7 fell, it was being reported all over the news that that particular building was thought to be brought down! There was reports on the ground of people counting down until the building fell, and yet again reports of explosions right before it collapsed into it's own footprint. And then there's the famous BBC footage of the news reporter reporting that it had collapsed 20 minutes before it actually collapsed!! She's standing there reporting that the building fell and it's standing right behind her. CNN did the same thing. It shows scripting, kind of like when Kennedy was shot, newspapers over seas were reporting Oswald as the lone nut assassin BEFORE he was even arrested in Dallas!!
It's all so crazy, all right in your face! watching these news broadcasts and people are like,"you're crazy, that never happened" when it was reported on the fucking day!
Like for example, the fault of Osama Bin Laden. Ok, within HOURS of the attacks, the news started to report it being the fault of Osama Bin Laden, without any real time to investigate what happened. There's reports that morning of the religious leader of Al Qaeda saying Bin Laden couldn't of done it, because it was too sophisticated and it was done with military precision. Another group called the Liberation For Palestine, who at first were being blamed for the attacks, came out and said it couldn't have been Bin Laden because it was too sophisticated. But then the DOD talking heads went on the air saying "This is Bin Laden, this is his M.O.!" Within HOURS!! Oh yeah and within hours, Senators and Congress critters came on the air and started with their treason talk, saying we had to sacrifice liberties to be safe, and that we'd never be the same and we all need to be tracked and traced to protect us from the terrorists. And if we didn't it might be our office building that will get hit next and we're gonna die if we didn't sacrifice some of our liberties. Oh yeah, and intelligence officials going on the air that day saying they KNEW this shit was gonna happen!!!! Oh my god! That was the worst was hearing those fuckers go on air, and say "yes we knew this was coming, and we did nothing."
Another thing, when the first building fell, on ABC Peter Jennings, after watching the building fall said on air, "everyone who is involved in demolition knows, to make a building fall like that you have to get at the under infrastructure of the building." Then it came out later that the janitor of the the WTC was in the basement and heard bombs going off, and helped people in the basement get on ambulances that were victims of the bombs going off in the basement. And when he testified to the 9/11 Commission it was during a closed session, kind of like when Bush and Cheney testified, it was closed and the families couldn't hear what they were being asked or what their responses were. Then when the 9/11 Commission Report came out, they left out the entire testimony of the WTC janitor who heard bombs and helped people who were injured and hurt because of the bombs going off in the basement. Google William Rodriquez, his story has never changed from that morning.
Sibel Edmonds, the FBI translator who heard transmissions of Bin Laden being CIA asset was interviewed in a closed session, then she had a gag order placed on her.
It wasn't just Peter Jennings saying the collapse of the WTC looked like a controlled demolition, on other stations they said after seeing the building fall they thought it was a controlled demolition, even firefighters reported bombs going off "as if someone had rigged it for a building to collapse." When the building first fell, Peter Jennings asks an eyewitness if half the building fell and in what direction, and the witness says the whole building fell straight down, and Jennings say,"The WHOLE building fell straight down?" Obviously not believing it cuz it goes against physics and logic that a building of that size would fall in that manner due to just jet fuel.
Then later Peter Jennings talks to Rudy Giuliani over the phone after both buildings fell and Giuliani says over the phone (which he denies to this day that he ever said) that they were told the building was going to collapse so they left the area!! And why Peter Jennings didn't ask him WHO told him the building was going to fall, i'll never know.
It's all so incredible when i go back and watch this stuff. Oh yeah, and in Virgina CNN reported before the strike on the Pentagon that a military helicopter flew over the Pentagon followed by the plane crashing into the building. Well, what the hell was a military helicopter doing flying over the Pentagon? That question was never answered, and then later on CNN reported the fucking Doomsday plane flying over the Pentagon!! Just outright craziness! I'm not done watching all the videos yet, i had to stop after a while cuz it gets pretty depressing and overwhelming, especially the video of the people on the upper floors coming out of the windows and jumping. Anyway, i just had to rant about my discovery of the news footage from that day.
See ya later...
A lot in recent events has made me feel really old. My boyfriend flirting with women online, that ultimately made me feel like i was "losing it" as far as my looks and my sex appeal go.
Joining Facebook and seeing all my old friends and how old they have gotten and seen that practically EVERYONE is married with kids now, seeing my family who i haven't seen in forever and seeing how old THEY are, the baby cousins i have that are now teenagers or young adults with babies of their own on the way! Not to mention i've been having sore shoulder muscle problems lately, on my actual birthday i was sore from work and school a couple days before. Luckily i don't look 30, most people think i'm like 18 or 19. Cool i guess.
So my parents gave me $100 in cash, which is sweet cuz i ask for money every year and nobody ever just gives me money, well my parents did this year. So i went shopping for clothes, cuz all of my clothes i fucking hate, i wish i could burn all of em but then i'd have nothing to wear. So i bought 2 new pairs of jeans, 2 shirts, new pj pants and a pj shirt. I usually hate going shopping for clothes but this time it wasn't so bad.
They all fit, which is cool, usually i'll bring em home and they don't fit, not this time they all fit perfect. I bought a really pretty silk dress that was on clearance online. Then my brother gave me a gift card and i bought a bunch of kitchen stuff with that.
My boyfriend bought me a robe, which should make him happy, he didn't like me using his for some reason. I like it, it's soft unlike his :-P My favorite though was my girls giving me a foot massage! That was awesome! My feet hurt all the time now, now i know how my poor dad felt all these years with arthritis in his feet. Well i guess if anything i can say i'm in somewhat of good health, at least i'm not popping pharmaceuticals everyday, that i can say.
When i get my tax return i plan on buying a treadmill if i can afford it. The past few months trying to concentrate on my physical appearance has kind of gotten me down a bit. I just don't look like how i use to, it's hard to deal with i guess. I really try not to dwell on it, but when you have a boyfriend telling you that you gotta concentrate more on how you look day to day, it's really tough.
Anyway enough about me and how old i am now, i really wanted to post on here and some 9/11/01 research i've been doing the past month. Of coarse we had the 9 year anniversary of 9/11 this month and i stumbled across this amazing website called "archive.com" or something, it might be "archive.org" i don't remember at this very moment but it has complete archived footage of all the major mainstream news reports from that day. It's awesome!!! So station by station i've been watching all the videos, they have each channel archived on 9/11 from 8:30 a.m. till about 11:30 p.m. Of coarse the most dramatic of the footage on each channel is on the ones from 9:00 to 10:00 when the second plane hits the second tower of the WTC, and people just fucking panic on air! The NBC one, when the second plane hits, you can hear everyone panic and gasp in the background and Katie Couric and Matt Laurer try to stay calm.
The station that did the best job and it very telling i think is the ABC news coverage. Peter Jennings did a great job that day i think. I remember that day at home we were mostly watching NBC and not ABC.
Anyway my point is there is a lot of telling things that came out that very morning that the 9/11 Commission just simply ignored, but it was all over the news that morning, reported on almost every station. People in NY reported hearing bombs going off, seeing flashes of lights before the first building fell, in Virgina which is interesting a lot of people reported seeing the airplane, but most interesting on every station they showed the same guy over and over again. We've all seen him, he's the one and only guy that reports to seeing an American Airlines plane, he says "you could see the AA on the side of the plane" when other people reported it being a smaller plane. It's all so fucking crazy! And when United 93 got shot down, they even reported that! And within hours the DOD made sure to get out on the air that that was not true!! And what was even more crazy to me was around 5:00, 20 minutes before WTC building number 7 fell, it was being reported all over the news that that particular building was thought to be brought down! There was reports on the ground of people counting down until the building fell, and yet again reports of explosions right before it collapsed into it's own footprint. And then there's the famous BBC footage of the news reporter reporting that it had collapsed 20 minutes before it actually collapsed!! She's standing there reporting that the building fell and it's standing right behind her. CNN did the same thing. It shows scripting, kind of like when Kennedy was shot, newspapers over seas were reporting Oswald as the lone nut assassin BEFORE he was even arrested in Dallas!!
It's all so crazy, all right in your face! watching these news broadcasts and people are like,"you're crazy, that never happened" when it was reported on the fucking day!
Like for example, the fault of Osama Bin Laden. Ok, within HOURS of the attacks, the news started to report it being the fault of Osama Bin Laden, without any real time to investigate what happened. There's reports that morning of the religious leader of Al Qaeda saying Bin Laden couldn't of done it, because it was too sophisticated and it was done with military precision. Another group called the Liberation For Palestine, who at first were being blamed for the attacks, came out and said it couldn't have been Bin Laden because it was too sophisticated. But then the DOD talking heads went on the air saying "This is Bin Laden, this is his M.O.!" Within HOURS!! Oh yeah and within hours, Senators and Congress critters came on the air and started with their treason talk, saying we had to sacrifice liberties to be safe, and that we'd never be the same and we all need to be tracked and traced to protect us from the terrorists. And if we didn't it might be our office building that will get hit next and we're gonna die if we didn't sacrifice some of our liberties. Oh yeah, and intelligence officials going on the air that day saying they KNEW this shit was gonna happen!!!! Oh my god! That was the worst was hearing those fuckers go on air, and say "yes we knew this was coming, and we did nothing."
Another thing, when the first building fell, on ABC Peter Jennings, after watching the building fall said on air, "everyone who is involved in demolition knows, to make a building fall like that you have to get at the under infrastructure of the building." Then it came out later that the janitor of the the WTC was in the basement and heard bombs going off, and helped people in the basement get on ambulances that were victims of the bombs going off in the basement. And when he testified to the 9/11 Commission it was during a closed session, kind of like when Bush and Cheney testified, it was closed and the families couldn't hear what they were being asked or what their responses were. Then when the 9/11 Commission Report came out, they left out the entire testimony of the WTC janitor who heard bombs and helped people who were injured and hurt because of the bombs going off in the basement. Google William Rodriquez, his story has never changed from that morning.
Sibel Edmonds, the FBI translator who heard transmissions of Bin Laden being CIA asset was interviewed in a closed session, then she had a gag order placed on her.
It wasn't just Peter Jennings saying the collapse of the WTC looked like a controlled demolition, on other stations they said after seeing the building fall they thought it was a controlled demolition, even firefighters reported bombs going off "as if someone had rigged it for a building to collapse." When the building first fell, Peter Jennings asks an eyewitness if half the building fell and in what direction, and the witness says the whole building fell straight down, and Jennings say,"The WHOLE building fell straight down?" Obviously not believing it cuz it goes against physics and logic that a building of that size would fall in that manner due to just jet fuel.
Then later Peter Jennings talks to Rudy Giuliani over the phone after both buildings fell and Giuliani says over the phone (which he denies to this day that he ever said) that they were told the building was going to collapse so they left the area!! And why Peter Jennings didn't ask him WHO told him the building was going to fall, i'll never know.
It's all so incredible when i go back and watch this stuff. Oh yeah, and in Virgina CNN reported before the strike on the Pentagon that a military helicopter flew over the Pentagon followed by the plane crashing into the building. Well, what the hell was a military helicopter doing flying over the Pentagon? That question was never answered, and then later on CNN reported the fucking Doomsday plane flying over the Pentagon!! Just outright craziness! I'm not done watching all the videos yet, i had to stop after a while cuz it gets pretty depressing and overwhelming, especially the video of the people on the upper floors coming out of the windows and jumping. Anyway, i just had to rant about my discovery of the news footage from that day.
See ya later...
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
"Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all
I can give away everything I possess
But am without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect
& not without sin
But now that I'm older all childish things end"
But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all
I can give away everything I possess
But am without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect
& not without sin
But now that I'm older all childish things end"
So the girls and the boyfriend were all gone yesterday. I had the house to myself, time to totally indulge in "me time". In Men are From Mars Women are from Venus, Dr. John Gray recommends over and over that men indulge in testosterone inducing activities, and women indulge in estrogen inducing activities. Testosterone lowers men's stress levels, and estrogen lowers women's stress levels, and lower stress levels means happier couples.
So i totally indulged in estrogen inducing activities. I baked, i went shopping and i highlighted my hair and played with new make up i bought.
Today is the Natalie Merchant concert and it's at an opera house, so i'm using the concert as an excuse to doll myself up i guess.
Actually recent events have made me realize i've been totally neglecting my outer appearance while my inner one was blossoming. Catching my boyfriend flirting with another woman on the Internet really mentally scared me and made my conscience say "Wake the fuck up bitch!! Your man is flirting with other women!!" Paying attention to my physical appearance is a double edge sword for me. I went through a bad bit of depression over my physical appearance, and starting to pay attention to it again is something i've been avoiding for years now. I got into a huge depression because i realized i was masking my identity with my physical appearance, when in reality i really had no identity and it fucked with me so much. That was the darkest period of my life, and i've managed to pull myself out of it without pharmaceuticals, all through just mental anguish and realization of what was going on inside me.
The last three or four years i've neglected my outer self while my inner self was blossoming into something beautiful.
Anyway, it's hard, i'm not going to lie, i hate looking at myself cuz i just want to throw my hands in the air and say i dunno what to do! I've dyed my hair so many different colors, i hate make up, i don't know the first fucking thing about fashion and i hate shopping for clothes. I hate going to beauty salons cuz i don't like being around women so much, they really irritate me after a while, that and i really don't like strangers touching me, especially my hair.
So i started watching YouTube videos on how to do eyeshadow, so i started playing with that with a purple shade. It was fun seeing my eyes all smokey. I highlighted my hair, i did a good job if i do say so myself, i like it. I haven't had my hair blond in a long, long time.
It's difficult to look at myself and decide what i should change, and what would look good. I use to have an almost exotic look, but that's gone now. I have mom arms and a football shaped head.... oh stop it, focus on the positive. Geez, it is just hard to get in the mind frame again of "what can i do to make myself look pretty?" I haven't thought like that in years!! A few days ago i bought nail polish for the first time in like eight or nine years and i had the girls paint my nails. It felt so fucking weird having that shit on my nails!! And cooking with that shit on was bizarre too.
Most Chefs are really discouraged to wear make up or have nail polish cuz it gets into the food. Chefs need to be clean like surgeons.
Anyway, i'm working on it. Another problem is I'm not a size 5 anymore, i have grown into the body of a Chef :-D So i'm looking at other "full figured" women and getting some ideas off of them. Chef Anne Burrell being one. The outfits she picks out i think is more my style, most of what she wears i like and it's clothes i would buy, i even have a tank top that looks like one of her tops i've seen her wear. I'm friends with her on Facebook and in her photo albums men always comment about how gorgeous they think she is. Gotta work with what i got right?
Friday, July 23, 2010
I'll twine with my mingles and waving black hair
With the roses so red and the lilies so fair
And the myrtles so bright with emerald dew
The pale and the leader and eyes look like blue
He told me he loved me and called me his flower
That blossomed for him all the brighter each hour
Though my heart is now breaking, he never shall know
That his name makes me tremble, my pale cheeks to
glow - June Carter Cash
Howdy y'all! Just kidding, a little Paula Deen humor! So i'm gonna use this blog as a vessel again to vent out some frustrations. This will be like a diary entry like i use to do on this blog.
I survived one of the hardest weeks emotionally that i've had in years. The only thing i think i can compair it to is when my brother and my dad were both in the hospital. But i dunno if i've mentioned it on here, but i recently joined facebook. It's been pretty ok so far, i've gotten in touch with family members who i haven't talked to in years. But on the dark side, i discovered this week my boyfriend had been flirting with one of his female "friends" on Facebook. I was checking out one of his friends who posts on his wall all the time and comments on his posts a lot, and i didn't know who she is, so i went to her page to check her out. The only thing i could check out was her photos and BAM!!! It was a sexually inappropriate comment he made on one of her photos. This was totally like one of these chicks who is all into herself and posts a shit load of pictures of herself and men go on there and comment about how great she looks, i mean the chick was eating it up.
I tell ya, when i read what he wrote my heart sank, i immediately was angry and sent him a text message right away. then i ran to the bathroom and stayed in there crying till i had to go to work. I don't know what else they had said to each other that i didn't read, when he tried to explain through an email he told me when i said i'd never join Facebook, he took that as a green light to "free himself". What that meant, i don't know exactly but it made things worse after he sent that email. Before i was pissed off but when he said that it reached a whole new level.
Feelings of betrayal surfaced, feelings of my pride being ripped apart ran through me. I really felt like he didn't appreciate me at all, that he thought so little of me and our relationship that he'd go online and flirt with women, thinking i'd never find out about it. I felt stupid cuz i have bought two Men are From Mars Women are from Venus books, trying to read up on relationships between men and women, trying to better myself in ways he wants me to. Putting all this time and energy into trying to better our relationship, mean while he's just on line flirting with women! I felt stupid, like the biggest dumbass cuz i was doing all this shit for nothing!
I mean i haven't had that many emotions run through me all at once since the last time a boyfriend cheated on me happened. That's how much it affected me. For the first time in our relationship i told him i didn't want to see him. Usually we try to always work things out, this time i did not want to see him what so ever. As far as i was concerned once the weekend came, i was gonna go stay in a motel cuz i was pissed at him. I was so beside myself and didn't know what to do, my boss is on vacation and i had all that shit at work to deal with, but my mind was just sending me a million messages, it sucked.
I asked one of my friends at work about what she would do, i posted a private message on Facebook to about 6 of my friends and family what they would do. About half of them said they would break up with him!! Everyone was in consensus on as the WHY he decided it was ok to say something like he did to a woman who is not his girlfriend, especially on Facebook where i could read it.
The first night was really hard on me cuz he left me in the dark as to his reasoning and rationalization of it. But once he tried to explain it, like i said before he said he was "freeing himself" which dug himself into a hole even further. I think he knew he made a stupid mistake by saying that and from then on through our emails he didn't try to explain away, and finally he said he couldn't justify what he did. He went and deleted the comment, which i thought was kinda dumb at first cuz the damage was done i had already seen it, but he made the point he shouldn't of done it in the first place so that's why he deleted it. He removed the girl from his list of friends, i didn't ask him to, but to be completely honest i am glad he did, it just would of been too weird especially cuz she posted all the time on his Facebook page. He did apologize the first night and when i slept on the couch he was seemed kind of shocked and that's when he sent the email explaining he was "freeing himself" and asked what more he could do. And that's really when i let him have a piece of my mind (me getting more pissed with the "freeing himself" explanation) and let him know this isn't something i was gonna get over by some apology over a text message, and that's when i let him know i didn't want to see him. It hurt like hell telling him that, but i just couldn't see him.
I'm just shocked at how i felt my pride being tattered by this whole thing. Even when i've been cheated on before, i never felt like my pride was hurt. Yeah i felt like my heart got stabbed and run over, but never my pride. I guess when you've been in a relationship as long as my boyfriend and I have, you identify yourself with your spouse. This year it'll be 8 fucking years we've been together!! 8 years!!
Me and this girl at work were talking about it, she's been married about as long as me and my boyfriend have been together and she really sympathised with me and felt sorry for me, and kept asking about how everything was going all week. Which normally i would of found annoying, but this time i didn't mind so much because i've never experienced anything like this before, it was good to get it out to a fellow female. I did appreciate all my female companionship on FB cuz they were all pretty shocked by it and felt sorry for me. I tell ya if it wasn't for them, i probably would of went crazy. My cousin gave me shit that i didn't go to school on Tuesday cause i was so upset, and i was letting the whole situation affect my schooling. I was disappointed in myself too for skipping another day of school, but i had a major headache over the whole thing and i had been drinking whiskey to try and calm down.
Everything is fine now, he did apologize and i do really think he feels like shit about it. I have never talked to another guy in the whole 8 years we've been together the way he talked to that girl, never even thought of talking to another guy in that way, and if i would of got caught on Facebook telling some guy the shit he told that girl, i would of gotten in a shit load of trouble. The girls at work helped me to calm down a lot by joking with me and trying to get my mind off of it.
With the roses so red and the lilies so fair
And the myrtles so bright with emerald dew
The pale and the leader and eyes look like blue
He told me he loved me and called me his flower
That blossomed for him all the brighter each hour
Though my heart is now breaking, he never shall know
That his name makes me tremble, my pale cheeks to
glow - June Carter Cash
Howdy y'all! Just kidding, a little Paula Deen humor! So i'm gonna use this blog as a vessel again to vent out some frustrations. This will be like a diary entry like i use to do on this blog.
I survived one of the hardest weeks emotionally that i've had in years. The only thing i think i can compair it to is when my brother and my dad were both in the hospital. But i dunno if i've mentioned it on here, but i recently joined facebook. It's been pretty ok so far, i've gotten in touch with family members who i haven't talked to in years. But on the dark side, i discovered this week my boyfriend had been flirting with one of his female "friends" on Facebook. I was checking out one of his friends who posts on his wall all the time and comments on his posts a lot, and i didn't know who she is, so i went to her page to check her out. The only thing i could check out was her photos and BAM!!! It was a sexually inappropriate comment he made on one of her photos. This was totally like one of these chicks who is all into herself and posts a shit load of pictures of herself and men go on there and comment about how great she looks, i mean the chick was eating it up.
I tell ya, when i read what he wrote my heart sank, i immediately was angry and sent him a text message right away. then i ran to the bathroom and stayed in there crying till i had to go to work. I don't know what else they had said to each other that i didn't read, when he tried to explain through an email he told me when i said i'd never join Facebook, he took that as a green light to "free himself". What that meant, i don't know exactly but it made things worse after he sent that email. Before i was pissed off but when he said that it reached a whole new level.
Feelings of betrayal surfaced, feelings of my pride being ripped apart ran through me. I really felt like he didn't appreciate me at all, that he thought so little of me and our relationship that he'd go online and flirt with women, thinking i'd never find out about it. I felt stupid cuz i have bought two Men are From Mars Women are from Venus books, trying to read up on relationships between men and women, trying to better myself in ways he wants me to. Putting all this time and energy into trying to better our relationship, mean while he's just on line flirting with women! I felt stupid, like the biggest dumbass cuz i was doing all this shit for nothing!
I mean i haven't had that many emotions run through me all at once since the last time a boyfriend cheated on me happened. That's how much it affected me. For the first time in our relationship i told him i didn't want to see him. Usually we try to always work things out, this time i did not want to see him what so ever. As far as i was concerned once the weekend came, i was gonna go stay in a motel cuz i was pissed at him. I was so beside myself and didn't know what to do, my boss is on vacation and i had all that shit at work to deal with, but my mind was just sending me a million messages, it sucked.
I asked one of my friends at work about what she would do, i posted a private message on Facebook to about 6 of my friends and family what they would do. About half of them said they would break up with him!! Everyone was in consensus on as the WHY he decided it was ok to say something like he did to a woman who is not his girlfriend, especially on Facebook where i could read it.
The first night was really hard on me cuz he left me in the dark as to his reasoning and rationalization of it. But once he tried to explain it, like i said before he said he was "freeing himself" which dug himself into a hole even further. I think he knew he made a stupid mistake by saying that and from then on through our emails he didn't try to explain away, and finally he said he couldn't justify what he did. He went and deleted the comment, which i thought was kinda dumb at first cuz the damage was done i had already seen it, but he made the point he shouldn't of done it in the first place so that's why he deleted it. He removed the girl from his list of friends, i didn't ask him to, but to be completely honest i am glad he did, it just would of been too weird especially cuz she posted all the time on his Facebook page. He did apologize the first night and when i slept on the couch he was seemed kind of shocked and that's when he sent the email explaining he was "freeing himself" and asked what more he could do. And that's really when i let him have a piece of my mind (me getting more pissed with the "freeing himself" explanation) and let him know this isn't something i was gonna get over by some apology over a text message, and that's when i let him know i didn't want to see him. It hurt like hell telling him that, but i just couldn't see him.
I'm just shocked at how i felt my pride being tattered by this whole thing. Even when i've been cheated on before, i never felt like my pride was hurt. Yeah i felt like my heart got stabbed and run over, but never my pride. I guess when you've been in a relationship as long as my boyfriend and I have, you identify yourself with your spouse. This year it'll be 8 fucking years we've been together!! 8 years!!
Me and this girl at work were talking about it, she's been married about as long as me and my boyfriend have been together and she really sympathised with me and felt sorry for me, and kept asking about how everything was going all week. Which normally i would of found annoying, but this time i didn't mind so much because i've never experienced anything like this before, it was good to get it out to a fellow female. I did appreciate all my female companionship on FB cuz they were all pretty shocked by it and felt sorry for me. I tell ya if it wasn't for them, i probably would of went crazy. My cousin gave me shit that i didn't go to school on Tuesday cause i was so upset, and i was letting the whole situation affect my schooling. I was disappointed in myself too for skipping another day of school, but i had a major headache over the whole thing and i had been drinking whiskey to try and calm down.
Everything is fine now, he did apologize and i do really think he feels like shit about it. I have never talked to another guy in the whole 8 years we've been together the way he talked to that girl, never even thought of talking to another guy in that way, and if i would of got caught on Facebook telling some guy the shit he told that girl, i would of gotten in a shit load of trouble. The girls at work helped me to calm down a lot by joking with me and trying to get my mind off of it.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
So i'm bored. My boyfriend just left with my brother on a Vegas vacation, and i'm already bored without him around! :( Oh well, i can immerse myself in the wonderful world of classic French cooking. School is going awesome, i am absolutely loving it! I had a really good day last week when Chef had us do basic culinary skills. We had to boil an egg, (yes the exact thing i compared making mashed potatoes to.) bake a potato, boil a potato, dice a potato in medium, small and large dices, dice a onion, make a rice pilaf (again, Chef already had me make it once before) and finally boil pasta. And an option he gave us, but we didn't have to but me and this other girl decided to do it, was make a risotto. I totally fucking rocked on the risotto!! Second time ever making risotto too. The only thing i messed up on was dicing the potato. I told Chef i didn't know how to do it, and he showed me how, and after he showed me how, i rocked that out too and totally aced that shit as well :)
Tuesday and tomorrow we're doing the classic 5 mother sauces. I did the brown sauce, which again Chef said i did a really good job, he liked my brown roux, and then i also did a classic French tomato sauce. Which i didn't really enjoy making all that much, i've made Italian tomato sauces a million times but making the French didn't excite me as much as the Italian version does. I kind of fucked it up, but Chef still passed me, i let the sauce simmer too long and it was too thick in the end and not very saucy.
What is starting to annoy me, which i rather enjoyed at first now it's just getting annoying, is the lack of knowledge from the other students. They don't know a fucking thing and it blows my mind!! This other girl Shawna seems to know some, she definitely knows about as much as I do. A lot of them come to either Shawna, me or Chef for questions, it's crazy for me cuz I'm the fucking newbie!
But the rest of em couldn't cook themselves out of a fucking hole in the ground! I was paired up with this one dude Stephen, and he doesn't know shit! The whole time we were making our sauces i basically did all the cooking and i had him do all the prep work, but even with the prep he needed my help! Like he didn't know how to dice up the mirepoix, i had to show him. The dicing of the onion was painful to watch because you could tell he had never done it before. He was like, "where did you learn this stuff?" and when i said Food Network, he acted all surprised. I am fucking self taught and i'm basically teaching other people how to do basic shit they should already know.
I really don't think Stephen has done much cooking before he arrived at school.
He has been in school a week longer than i have, he seems to have gone into culinary arts because he doesn't know what else to do with his life career wise, and he says he wants to "develop" a passion for cooking.
Then there's this old man Edgar, who thinks he knows his shit but he doesn't know nothing. I got in an argument with him about how to make mashed potatoes, he was trying to tell me that i had to put in the potatoes when the water already came to a boil, and i was trying to tell him if you do that your potatoes will cook unevenly. Finally Chef came around and told him I was right. Then when i was making my risotto, he tried to tell me that you need to cook it in the fucking oven!! That's like completely ass backwards on how you make risotto! It's crazy!
Then there's this other kid, I forgot his name, I get along with him the best, he's really nice, and he always compliments my food and says,"i want to eat Cristal's food". he seems to have a passion for cooking, but yet again he's been in school since August and he doesn't even have basic knife skills at all. Last week i was watching him try to dice up a mirepoix, and he was holding the knife completely wrong, and he was shaking like a jack rabbit! He means well, and he really does enjoy cooking.
Then there's the girls in the bakery who i haven't worked with yet, but they're always speaking Spanish every time i go in the bakery for a bowl or something.
About a month into this now, i still have to pinch myself that i'm really doing this! I mean it wasn't that long ago that i was just experimenting in our little kitchen in our old town home after watching a Rachael Ray episode where she made pizza.
I remember i use to HATE cooking!! Well, my idea of cooking was making Hamburger Helper and SpaghettiO's. I remember once when we lived in our first apartment i did make a pork roast. Once and only once until we moved into the town home and i really got into cooking. I just really can't wrap my mind around the fact that i'm going to culinary school, and i'm actually pretty good at it! My family in New Jersey, basically the kids of my uncle who is a Chef, are all excited for me and my family is trying to compair me to my uncle now. That's a little unfair though, he's been in the industry for years, and i'm barely getting my feet wet. He even was a Chef in the Army. I do have all kinds of support behind me on this huge decision i've made for my life, and that makes me feel good as well that i'm heading down the right road.
Tuesday and tomorrow we're doing the classic 5 mother sauces. I did the brown sauce, which again Chef said i did a really good job, he liked my brown roux, and then i also did a classic French tomato sauce. Which i didn't really enjoy making all that much, i've made Italian tomato sauces a million times but making the French didn't excite me as much as the Italian version does. I kind of fucked it up, but Chef still passed me, i let the sauce simmer too long and it was too thick in the end and not very saucy.
What is starting to annoy me, which i rather enjoyed at first now it's just getting annoying, is the lack of knowledge from the other students. They don't know a fucking thing and it blows my mind!! This other girl Shawna seems to know some, she definitely knows about as much as I do. A lot of them come to either Shawna, me or Chef for questions, it's crazy for me cuz I'm the fucking newbie!
But the rest of em couldn't cook themselves out of a fucking hole in the ground! I was paired up with this one dude Stephen, and he doesn't know shit! The whole time we were making our sauces i basically did all the cooking and i had him do all the prep work, but even with the prep he needed my help! Like he didn't know how to dice up the mirepoix, i had to show him. The dicing of the onion was painful to watch because you could tell he had never done it before. He was like, "where did you learn this stuff?" and when i said Food Network, he acted all surprised. I am fucking self taught and i'm basically teaching other people how to do basic shit they should already know.
I really don't think Stephen has done much cooking before he arrived at school.
He has been in school a week longer than i have, he seems to have gone into culinary arts because he doesn't know what else to do with his life career wise, and he says he wants to "develop" a passion for cooking.
Then there's this old man Edgar, who thinks he knows his shit but he doesn't know nothing. I got in an argument with him about how to make mashed potatoes, he was trying to tell me that i had to put in the potatoes when the water already came to a boil, and i was trying to tell him if you do that your potatoes will cook unevenly. Finally Chef came around and told him I was right. Then when i was making my risotto, he tried to tell me that you need to cook it in the fucking oven!! That's like completely ass backwards on how you make risotto! It's crazy!
Then there's this other kid, I forgot his name, I get along with him the best, he's really nice, and he always compliments my food and says,"i want to eat Cristal's food". he seems to have a passion for cooking, but yet again he's been in school since August and he doesn't even have basic knife skills at all. Last week i was watching him try to dice up a mirepoix, and he was holding the knife completely wrong, and he was shaking like a jack rabbit! He means well, and he really does enjoy cooking.
Then there's the girls in the bakery who i haven't worked with yet, but they're always speaking Spanish every time i go in the bakery for a bowl or something.
About a month into this now, i still have to pinch myself that i'm really doing this! I mean it wasn't that long ago that i was just experimenting in our little kitchen in our old town home after watching a Rachael Ray episode where she made pizza.
I remember i use to HATE cooking!! Well, my idea of cooking was making Hamburger Helper and SpaghettiO's. I remember once when we lived in our first apartment i did make a pork roast. Once and only once until we moved into the town home and i really got into cooking. I just really can't wrap my mind around the fact that i'm going to culinary school, and i'm actually pretty good at it! My family in New Jersey, basically the kids of my uncle who is a Chef, are all excited for me and my family is trying to compair me to my uncle now. That's a little unfair though, he's been in the industry for years, and i'm barely getting my feet wet. He even was a Chef in the Army. I do have all kinds of support behind me on this huge decision i've made for my life, and that makes me feel good as well that i'm heading down the right road.
Friday, June 18, 2010
So a couple weeks into my adventure in culinary school has been enjoyable. It's definitely not as technically oriented as i would like, but i am learning how a restaurant kitchen is run. So far Chef Tim likes my food, he criticizes me on my timing, i've learned timing in the kitchen is your worst enemy. Everything has to be ready at the same time and that is hard. I'm taking evening classes with about 7 other people. Some people from the day classes have come in to do prep work, and they have said during the day they actually run the school deli and it's almost like free labor is how they described it. They say you learn a lot more though and it's a lot more fast paced, and you also get your own set of knives once you join the day classes. So once i'm done with this course i'm taking now, i'll probably register for the day classes. The only thing i don't like is the classes are every single day, 5 days a week. I don't care, i won't be going in on Wednesdays, i don't give a shit! The day students also said Chef Tim is totally different during the day, they say he's a total dick. I like him so far, he's nice, he sure as hell makes me nervous when he comes around and questions you about your food. "What did you put in it? How did you do it? Why did you do it like that?" I had to make a cream of mushroom soup to go with my main course yesterday, i wasn't "assigned" to make it but i had to because it called for it in the recipe and the kitchen pantry never has the already prepared cans of soup so we always to have to it ourselves, and Chef Tim came around and saw me making it and he was all happy and of coarse started questioning me on how i made it and he walked away happy and was all,"That's what i like to see!"
He gave me and these two other guys shit yesterday because we weren't gonna serve a veggie with our dish, and he was like,"you don't have to serve a veggie, but if you don't i don't know why your here, you're here to cook." He definitely can be a hard ass. He graduated from the Culinary Institute of America (a.k.a. the CIA) in 1985, in New York City. I like him cuz he's a big Julia Child fan like me, on my first day we got into a good conversation about Julia, i basically told him watching Julia is what really pushed me over the edge to go into culinary school.
So i'm definitely having fun, it's awesome. I really want a gas stove now, i love cooking with the flame it's so much more fun, when you toss the pan and the flame shoots up, it's so cool! :)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Ahh! I hate this shit, i can't sleep AGAIN. Bed is so comfy right now, but the falling asleep part isn't happening. So, guess i'll waste time by blogging here for a while. Well, i am OFFICIALLY a college student now. Went and paid my fees and registered for my first round of classes, I start Tuesday. I'm totally nervous, I feel like i did when i first got hired with my current job. The school i'm going to the students run the school's kitchen and they have a different menu every week. So it'll be like working in a real professional kitchen, which will be a total shock to me, for i'm used to my quaint little kitchen at home, cooking by myself and cooking for picky eaters. I'm really very excited at the same time, i finally told the lady i work with about it. I hadn't told her up until now because she tends to look down on people who leave to go do something else or talk about leaving. She's a lifer and has been with this company for 39 years. I think it's the one and only job she's ever had. Anyway, when i told her she was really trying to be happy for me, but i could see the disapproval in her face, and total shock that i picked culinary school. I've never really talked to anyone at work about my love of cooking, so everyone was pretty surprised when i said i was going to culinary school. The reaction has been consistent, "Oh, culinary school, WOW!" I don't really click with too many people at work, 3 people and two of them i only see for about 2 hours during my shift.
This whole school thing has really got me unmotivated as far as my job is concerned. I'm sure once i actually start school it'll get worse. now when i go to work, i don't fucking care about the stuff i use to care about anymore. I use to go into work and perform to the best of my ability and do a pretty thorough job, but now i just don't really care and i'm pretty sloppy as of lately. I feel like the guy from "Office Space" after he got hypnotised and he stopped caring about work. It really is kind of a liberating feeling to just stop worrying about it all. When i talk to other people at work and they tell me about their stresses about what their doing at work, i feel sorry for them. It's a lot more enjoyable i've realized when you let go and don't stress out about the bullshit. I had to laugh at my boss last week cuz she almost had a fucking heart attack over a price tag! I mean come on! You're gonna land up having a stroke at work over a price tag. Well, it's 3 now, i should try to go to sleep again. See ya later....
This whole school thing has really got me unmotivated as far as my job is concerned. I'm sure once i actually start school it'll get worse. now when i go to work, i don't fucking care about the stuff i use to care about anymore. I use to go into work and perform to the best of my ability and do a pretty thorough job, but now i just don't really care and i'm pretty sloppy as of lately. I feel like the guy from "Office Space" after he got hypnotised and he stopped caring about work. It really is kind of a liberating feeling to just stop worrying about it all. When i talk to other people at work and they tell me about their stresses about what their doing at work, i feel sorry for them. It's a lot more enjoyable i've realized when you let go and don't stress out about the bullshit. I had to laugh at my boss last week cuz she almost had a fucking heart attack over a price tag! I mean come on! You're gonna land up having a stroke at work over a price tag. Well, it's 3 now, i should try to go to sleep again. See ya later....
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
When all else fails, pull the race card!
Rachael Maddow is a piece of work man! She had Rand Paul on her show and basically tried to pin him down as a racist because of comments he had made about the civil rights act on NPR. Look, he has said over and over that he doesn't condone racism, he's not a racist but constitutionally for private business owners it is not the governments role to come in and tell them what to do. He tried to use the example of business owners letting or not letting their customers carry guns into their business, just like in the old west when some bars didn't allow people to bring in their guns. And Maddow just completely brushes that aside and says it's not the same argument (when it is) and says it's a second amendment issue and not a civil rights issue. Is it stupid for a private business owner to not allow blacks or Mexicans or gays into their establishment, yes and i would not go into a business that did that, but in a free society under free speech, it is their right. As long as you don't physically harm anyone, your free to do what you want as a private business owner. That's all Rand Paul was saying, he was saying had he been around back then, he would of injected that constitutional argument, because god knows people in public office anymore do not even think about the bill of rights and constitution anymore. There was that one Congressman when asked about where in the constitution it says Congress can force people to buy health insurance, and he says "I don't worry much about the Constitution."
That's like Bush when he said "it's just a god damn piece of paper."
Maddow kept trying to get Rand Paul to say "white power" or "hail Hitler" or some shit. She would not entertain this argument Rand was trying to pose, and frankly i just feel sorry for her that she's so narrow minded. She did a classic bait and switch on Rand too. Not only is Rand getting hit from the left, but he's getting hit from the right too!! The media are a bunch of idiots in my view, whenever they attack someone now, it's almost like an endorsement in the American people's mind. We can see through your bullshit, and the attacks on Rand Paul are not going to work. You tried to call Ron Paul a racist too, and you all should be sued for defamation.
Anyway, i think it's an important argument that Rand was trying to pose. As apart of living in a free society with free speech, you have to have speech you are not going to agree with, and i am not in favor of all of these hate crime laws that have passed that basically stifle free speech. As a free person, i should be allowed to say whatever i want just as long as i'm not physically hurting someone. Hurting their feelings does not count! That's retarded, what are we back in fucking grade school on the fucking play ground? If you muzzle one person's free speech, then pretty soon YOUR free speech will be muzzled. As much as i don't agree with KKK members it's their free speech, and it's also my free speech to disagree with you.
Another example is i don't like pornography. I think it's degrading to women and violent sex crime a.k.a rape has increased in society since porn movies have come out, but because of my aversion to pornography mean that my views should put on everyone else who like porn? NO. Of coarse, unless it's child porn, then that is just unlawful and wrong and that person should be arrested. That's why the Girls Gone Wild guy got in so much trouble because it turned out he was filming 16 year olds. Sick fuck.
Anyway to Rands credit during the entire attack he stayed very cool and collected and reiterated his point over and over again, and Maddow kept asking him if he was a racist basically.
Anyhow, here's the show with Maddow, and then John Stossel comes out and defends Rand Pauls free speech here:
Here's also a good break down of the attacks on both sides of Rand Paul by the Southern Advenger:
Rachael Maddow is a piece of work man! She had Rand Paul on her show and basically tried to pin him down as a racist because of comments he had made about the civil rights act on NPR. Look, he has said over and over that he doesn't condone racism, he's not a racist but constitutionally for private business owners it is not the governments role to come in and tell them what to do. He tried to use the example of business owners letting or not letting their customers carry guns into their business, just like in the old west when some bars didn't allow people to bring in their guns. And Maddow just completely brushes that aside and says it's not the same argument (when it is) and says it's a second amendment issue and not a civil rights issue. Is it stupid for a private business owner to not allow blacks or Mexicans or gays into their establishment, yes and i would not go into a business that did that, but in a free society under free speech, it is their right. As long as you don't physically harm anyone, your free to do what you want as a private business owner. That's all Rand Paul was saying, he was saying had he been around back then, he would of injected that constitutional argument, because god knows people in public office anymore do not even think about the bill of rights and constitution anymore. There was that one Congressman when asked about where in the constitution it says Congress can force people to buy health insurance, and he says "I don't worry much about the Constitution."
That's like Bush when he said "it's just a god damn piece of paper."
Maddow kept trying to get Rand Paul to say "white power" or "hail Hitler" or some shit. She would not entertain this argument Rand was trying to pose, and frankly i just feel sorry for her that she's so narrow minded. She did a classic bait and switch on Rand too. Not only is Rand getting hit from the left, but he's getting hit from the right too!! The media are a bunch of idiots in my view, whenever they attack someone now, it's almost like an endorsement in the American people's mind. We can see through your bullshit, and the attacks on Rand Paul are not going to work. You tried to call Ron Paul a racist too, and you all should be sued for defamation.
Anyway, i think it's an important argument that Rand was trying to pose. As apart of living in a free society with free speech, you have to have speech you are not going to agree with, and i am not in favor of all of these hate crime laws that have passed that basically stifle free speech. As a free person, i should be allowed to say whatever i want just as long as i'm not physically hurting someone. Hurting their feelings does not count! That's retarded, what are we back in fucking grade school on the fucking play ground? If you muzzle one person's free speech, then pretty soon YOUR free speech will be muzzled. As much as i don't agree with KKK members it's their free speech, and it's also my free speech to disagree with you.
Another example is i don't like pornography. I think it's degrading to women and violent sex crime a.k.a rape has increased in society since porn movies have come out, but because of my aversion to pornography mean that my views should put on everyone else who like porn? NO. Of coarse, unless it's child porn, then that is just unlawful and wrong and that person should be arrested. That's why the Girls Gone Wild guy got in so much trouble because it turned out he was filming 16 year olds. Sick fuck.
Anyway to Rands credit during the entire attack he stayed very cool and collected and reiterated his point over and over again, and Maddow kept asking him if he was a racist basically.
Anyhow, here's the show with Maddow, and then John Stossel comes out and defends Rand Pauls free speech here:
Here's also a good break down of the attacks on both sides of Rand Paul by the Southern Advenger:
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
New Movie Machete Invokes Race War in America
I just watched the most disgusting trailer for a movie i've ever seen. The new movie "Machete" invokes a race war basically. And at the beginning of it they say it's a message to Arizona, and they depict white people as racists who hate mexicans, and mexicans revolt and kill everyone.
This is really disgusting when we have actual shit going on in this country of the illegals rioting in Arizona, American citizens getting kicked out of school for wearing American flag t-shirts on Cinco De Mayo. Look, mexican citizens in Mexico don't even celebrate Cino De Mayo, it's fucking retarded. There's video on YouTube all over of the illegals calling for killing American citizens. the most recent one is of a crazy lady who says that they're gonna kill us with axes.
"Plan of San Diego" is an actual thing that happened where the mexicans planned to kill white people. This movie makes me embarrassed to be a mexican and the stupid Jessica Alba line "we didn't cross the border, the border crossed us!" makes me wanna puke in my mouth.
Robert Rodriguez you are now a race baiting piece of shit, and everyone else who was involved in this movie. I like Robert Rodriguez too, and to see him pick up the race card and depict illegals killing Americans pisses me off, like we treat them like shit or something. What a bunch of shit, i don't get what message he's trying to send with this new movie but as a mexican-american, i find it offensive.
I just watched the most disgusting trailer for a movie i've ever seen. The new movie "Machete" invokes a race war basically. And at the beginning of it they say it's a message to Arizona, and they depict white people as racists who hate mexicans, and mexicans revolt and kill everyone.
This is really disgusting when we have actual shit going on in this country of the illegals rioting in Arizona, American citizens getting kicked out of school for wearing American flag t-shirts on Cinco De Mayo. Look, mexican citizens in Mexico don't even celebrate Cino De Mayo, it's fucking retarded. There's video on YouTube all over of the illegals calling for killing American citizens. the most recent one is of a crazy lady who says that they're gonna kill us with axes.
"Plan of San Diego" is an actual thing that happened where the mexicans planned to kill white people. This movie makes me embarrassed to be a mexican and the stupid Jessica Alba line "we didn't cross the border, the border crossed us!" makes me wanna puke in my mouth.
Robert Rodriguez you are now a race baiting piece of shit, and everyone else who was involved in this movie. I like Robert Rodriguez too, and to see him pick up the race card and depict illegals killing Americans pisses me off, like we treat them like shit or something. What a bunch of shit, i don't get what message he's trying to send with this new movie but as a mexican-american, i find it offensive.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Ron Paul Celebrates Hemp History Week, May 17 - 23
Statement of Congressman Ron Paul
United States House of Representatives
May 6, 2010
Madam Speaker, I rise to speak about Hemp History Week. To celebrate the American heritage of growing industrial hemp, the Hemp Industries Association, Vote Hemp, several American manufacturers, and allied companies and organizations have declared May 17 to May 23 to be Hemp History Week. Throughout the week, people will recognize America’s legacy of industrial hemp farming and call for reinstating respect for farmers’ basic right to grow industrial hemp.
Industrial hemp was legally grown throughout our country for many years. In fact, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew industrial hemp and used it to make cloth. During World War II, the federal government encouraged American farmers to grow hemp to help the war effort.
Despite industrial hemp farming being an important part of American history, the federal government has banned cultivation of this crop. In every other industrialized country, industrial hemp, defined to contain less than 0.3 percent THC--the psychoactive chemical found in marijuana, may be legally grown. Nobody can be psychologically affected by consuming industrial hemp. Unfortunately, because of a federal policy that does not distinguish between growing industrial hemp and growing marijuana, all hemp products and materials must be imported. The result is high prices, outsourced jobs, and lost opportunities for American manufacturing.
Reintroducing industrial hemp farming in the United States would bring jobs to communities struggling in today’s economy, provide American farmers with another crop alternative, and encourage the development of hemp processing factories near American hemp farming.
Industrial hemp is used in many products. For example, industrial hemp is used in protein supplements, non-dairy milk, and frozen desserts. Hemp flour is in breads, crackers, chips, dips, and dressings. Hemp seeds may be eaten plain or added to prepared foods. Additionally, hemp oil is used in a number of cosmetic and body care products, and hemp fiber is used in cloths. Industrial hemp is also present in bio-composite materials used in buildings and automobiles.
I first introduced the Industrial Hemp Farming Act (HR 1866) five years ago to end the federal government’s ban on American farmers growing industrial hemp. In this time, the industrial hemp industry has grown much larger. Despite its American history, industrial hemp is the only crop that we can buy and sell but not farm in the United States. The federal government should change the law to allow American farmers grow this profitable crop as American farmers have through most of our nation’s history. Please cosponsor the Industrial Hemp Farming Act and join me in celebrating Hemp History Week.
Statement of Congressman Ron Paul
United States House of Representatives
May 6, 2010
Madam Speaker, I rise to speak about Hemp History Week. To celebrate the American heritage of growing industrial hemp, the Hemp Industries Association, Vote Hemp, several American manufacturers, and allied companies and organizations have declared May 17 to May 23 to be Hemp History Week. Throughout the week, people will recognize America’s legacy of industrial hemp farming and call for reinstating respect for farmers’ basic right to grow industrial hemp.
Industrial hemp was legally grown throughout our country for many years. In fact, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew industrial hemp and used it to make cloth. During World War II, the federal government encouraged American farmers to grow hemp to help the war effort.
Despite industrial hemp farming being an important part of American history, the federal government has banned cultivation of this crop. In every other industrialized country, industrial hemp, defined to contain less than 0.3 percent THC--the psychoactive chemical found in marijuana, may be legally grown. Nobody can be psychologically affected by consuming industrial hemp. Unfortunately, because of a federal policy that does not distinguish between growing industrial hemp and growing marijuana, all hemp products and materials must be imported. The result is high prices, outsourced jobs, and lost opportunities for American manufacturing.
Reintroducing industrial hemp farming in the United States would bring jobs to communities struggling in today’s economy, provide American farmers with another crop alternative, and encourage the development of hemp processing factories near American hemp farming.
Industrial hemp is used in many products. For example, industrial hemp is used in protein supplements, non-dairy milk, and frozen desserts. Hemp flour is in breads, crackers, chips, dips, and dressings. Hemp seeds may be eaten plain or added to prepared foods. Additionally, hemp oil is used in a number of cosmetic and body care products, and hemp fiber is used in cloths. Industrial hemp is also present in bio-composite materials used in buildings and automobiles.
I first introduced the Industrial Hemp Farming Act (HR 1866) five years ago to end the federal government’s ban on American farmers growing industrial hemp. In this time, the industrial hemp industry has grown much larger. Despite its American history, industrial hemp is the only crop that we can buy and sell but not farm in the United States. The federal government should change the law to allow American farmers grow this profitable crop as American farmers have through most of our nation’s history. Please cosponsor the Industrial Hemp Farming Act and join me in celebrating Hemp History Week.
Friday, May 07, 2010
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Scars On Broadway Kicks Ass!
I just wanted to post about how kick ass Scars on Broadway is. Oh and fuck you Google, every site i go to now has some culinary school ad on the side with the "Ads by Google" underneath it.
Fuck you, you fucking big brother piece of shit company.
3005
Let's clap our hands,
for the president
and Jesus Christ
and did I mentioned Charlie Manson and everybody else, who was nice.
Let's sing a song,
for the people scared..
searching in the air, for your searching hard to see that I'll be there.
Shotting up your world,
watching all the ressurection junkies losing ground.
Yeah I'll be there,
shotting up your world
watching all the ressurection junkies losing ground.
Let's do have five,
for a genocide,
and the internet and all the communications skills that are lost, when we are dead.
You'll never survive 3005,
while you'll be sinking in the ocean I'll be in my space ship still alive!
Let's clap our hands,
for the president
and Mickey Mouse
every other motherfucker that's burning in this house!
They Say
I walked the line, the line I choose
I see the people in front of me
I climbed the wall, the wall of news
I watched them show the tragedy
If you were me, could you defend
The given rights to all the men?
Let's fuck the world with all it's trend
They say it's all about to end...
They say it's all about to end...
They say, they say...
There's a prison that's gone, but the fear lives on
I watched you walking on the dotted line
Maybe you don't see what's in front of me
Maybe you won't stand the test of time
For we live in sin, for we will win
I watched the president kiss his family
For we live in sin, for we will win
I watched the president fuck society
If you were me, could you defend
The given rights to all the men?
Let's fuck the world with all it's trend
They say it's all about to end...
They say it's all about to end...
They say, they say...
I fall in love with the old times
I never mention my own mind
Let's fuck the world with all it's trend
Thank god, it's all about to end...
They say it's all about to end...
They say, they say...
They say, they say...
They say it's all about to end
Enemy
I know it's really hard to see
That We are the enemy
I know it's really hard to see
That We are the enemy of the earth
They fuck you
Then they fuck themselves
They raise the flag that Jesus sells
They fuck you
Then they fuck themselves
They raise the flag that Jesus sells
I know it's really hard to see
That We are the enemy
I know it's really hard to see
That We are the enemy of the earth
We're on drugs
We're on drugs
We're all on drugs
We're on drugs
We're on drugs
Baby, we're all on drugs
Do you like drugs?
I know it's really hard to see
That We are the enemy
I know it's really hard to see
That We are the enemy of the earth
We are the enemy of the earth
We are the enemy of the earth
Thursday, April 29, 2010
UPDATE
My application for college was accepted!! I'm so happy with myself, so next week sometime i'm gonna go take my assessment test and register then apply for my loan with my credit union (i'm gonna try to go that route first). I'm so excited, happy, nervous and scared all at the same time, i'm finally gonna train to be a chef! Oh yeah, and now that i'm in need of money to try and better my life, i fall ass first into $2,600! I finally got a child support payment after years and years of nothing. Crazy the way some things work out in life.
My application for college was accepted!! I'm so happy with myself, so next week sometime i'm gonna go take my assessment test and register then apply for my loan with my credit union (i'm gonna try to go that route first). I'm so excited, happy, nervous and scared all at the same time, i'm finally gonna train to be a chef! Oh yeah, and now that i'm in need of money to try and better my life, i fall ass first into $2,600! I finally got a child support payment after years and years of nothing. Crazy the way some things work out in life.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I'm not gonna rant in here about the latest news, though i should because it's all so fucked up, but i am going to talk about myself.
So yeah for me, on Friday i finally finished my final test for my high school diploma, and just barely passed let me tell ya! So i officially am done with that chapter of my life, i can close the books on that fucking shit. I finished 4 years of high school in 3 months. If i knew this whole time i could of done this i would of got it done a long time ago. I am really glad i didn't settle for the GED though.
Anyway, so now i have my sights set on culinary school. Thanks to some advice from my parents, i found a college i can afford, and the whole culinary art course is only 9 months. Which is awesome, i'm not really sure i can commit to a 2 or 4 year school term. I wish i could afford a more expensive school because i'm sure they teach you a lot more than the school i'm currently looking at. But it's enough to get my foot into the door and get me out of my current job.
Lately i've really been down on my job, i absolutely can not stand being there anymore. I'm currently only working 20 or so hours a week and i was bitching about it, but not really anymore. I'm kind of glad i'm working so little hours even if it means i'm not making very much money, just because i can't stand being there anymore. And when i do start school it will be good i'm just working 20 hours so i can have time to go to school on my days off. And my dad is retired now and he's all excited to hear me talking about culinary school and he offered to watch my kids if my boyfriend is at work or something.
I just gotta figure out the financial end of it. It will cost about $5,700 for all of it. I am not borrowing any money from big daddy government, i absolutely will not. I am going to stick to my principals, Ron Paul is my inspiration. He taught me so much about economics, if it wasn't for the countless speeches i've watched of him talking about the economy of America, and Austrian economics, i probably would of had a tough time doing the economics course for my high school diploma.
That man has stuck to his principals for years and years and has never wavered, he practices what he preaches and it inspires me to do the same, so no federal money for me thank you. It would be like borrowing money from your broke uncle who's living in his car.
I'm gonna look into it more as the week goes on. Money will be tight as i head off into my future, with going to school and doing home improvements. if and when i quit my current job to go into my new career path, i will have to take a major pay cut, but hopefully hard work and determination will pay off in the long run.
I'm really nervous, but like i said before, the journey of a million miles begins with a single step. I'm just kind of sad that it took me nearly 30 years to find my passion in life, i'm just glad i found it, i'm happier now than i ever was when i was younger.
So yeah for me, on Friday i finally finished my final test for my high school diploma, and just barely passed let me tell ya! So i officially am done with that chapter of my life, i can close the books on that fucking shit. I finished 4 years of high school in 3 months. If i knew this whole time i could of done this i would of got it done a long time ago. I am really glad i didn't settle for the GED though.
Anyway, so now i have my sights set on culinary school. Thanks to some advice from my parents, i found a college i can afford, and the whole culinary art course is only 9 months. Which is awesome, i'm not really sure i can commit to a 2 or 4 year school term. I wish i could afford a more expensive school because i'm sure they teach you a lot more than the school i'm currently looking at. But it's enough to get my foot into the door and get me out of my current job.
Lately i've really been down on my job, i absolutely can not stand being there anymore. I'm currently only working 20 or so hours a week and i was bitching about it, but not really anymore. I'm kind of glad i'm working so little hours even if it means i'm not making very much money, just because i can't stand being there anymore. And when i do start school it will be good i'm just working 20 hours so i can have time to go to school on my days off. And my dad is retired now and he's all excited to hear me talking about culinary school and he offered to watch my kids if my boyfriend is at work or something.
I just gotta figure out the financial end of it. It will cost about $5,700 for all of it. I am not borrowing any money from big daddy government, i absolutely will not. I am going to stick to my principals, Ron Paul is my inspiration. He taught me so much about economics, if it wasn't for the countless speeches i've watched of him talking about the economy of America, and Austrian economics, i probably would of had a tough time doing the economics course for my high school diploma.
That man has stuck to his principals for years and years and has never wavered, he practices what he preaches and it inspires me to do the same, so no federal money for me thank you. It would be like borrowing money from your broke uncle who's living in his car.
I'm gonna look into it more as the week goes on. Money will be tight as i head off into my future, with going to school and doing home improvements. if and when i quit my current job to go into my new career path, i will have to take a major pay cut, but hopefully hard work and determination will pay off in the long run.
I'm really nervous, but like i said before, the journey of a million miles begins with a single step. I'm just kind of sad that it took me nearly 30 years to find my passion in life, i'm just glad i found it, i'm happier now than i ever was when i was younger.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
You fascist piece of shit!!
Congressman Phil Hare was recently got into a heated argument with his constituents when he told them recently regarding the health care bill that he "doesn't worry about the constitution" and that he believes it says we have a right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When that is not in the Constitution, it's written in the Declaration of Independence. Another fucking mind zombie, and this one just happens to be in the Congress.
These are the people who make our laws and they don't even know what the Constitution itself says, and they don't give a shit if it says they can't make us buy health insurance.
Congressman Phil Hare was recently got into a heated argument with his constituents when he told them recently regarding the health care bill that he "doesn't worry about the constitution" and that he believes it says we have a right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When that is not in the Constitution, it's written in the Declaration of Independence. Another fucking mind zombie, and this one just happens to be in the Congress.
These are the people who make our laws and they don't even know what the Constitution itself says, and they don't give a shit if it says they can't make us buy health insurance.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Food, Inc.
Another middle of the night entry. I had a bad migraine earlier, and it finally subsided after a little sleep and i'm up now.
I watched "Food, Inc." earlier, it was pretty much what i thought it was gonna be. Martha Stewart and all the "organic" food chains were really pushing it when it came out in theaters. It was alright i guess, it didn't touch too much on anything new for me, it went through all of what i already knew.
It definitely wasn't as hard core as some other food documentaries that i've seen, and i was fully anticipating that because it was a major documentary released all over the U.S. Like it didn't even talk about MSG or aspartame. It did mention high fructose corn syrup, but didn't go into how bad it is for your health, it just talked about how 90% of what is sold in the grocery store is made from corn, and how we're feeding corn to animals now, and in turn we're eating the animals that were fed the corn.
However it did talk about one thing that i wasn't aware of, it mentioned how the chickens from 50 years ago were a lot smaller, and how humans have basically engineered chickens to be fatter now. They went into a chicken coop of a chicken farmer for one of the major chicken companies, and that was really disturbing. I can't watch videos of the animal farms for these major companies because it's just so disturbing what goes on. It wasn't too bad, it definitely did not show the cannibalism that goes on in a lot of these farms, but it did show the chickens falling down, barely being able to move because they are so fat, and how they walk around in their own shit with dead chickens everywhere. The Tyson chicken farm, one of the biggest chicken producers in the country, they didn't film the inside of it, but they did interview one of the chicken farmers and he talked about how the chickens are not allowed in the sunlight, they have to be kept in the chicken coop at all times, to be kept in the dark at all times. Pretty disturbing.
The documentary did not talk about the cannibalism at all though. In an interview with an organic farmer he did mention the cannibalism but that was it.
There were definitely a few things about the documentary that irritated me and got under my skin. Like for example, they follow this lady and her mom who go to Washington D.C. to push for food safety because the lady had lost her son to e coli poisoning from ground beef. And they go and talk to my old Congresswoman Diane Degette! And the movie puts her on this pedestal like she's some fucking hero for the people, the lady even calls her a hero and they show Diane Degette just beaming at being called a hero, just completely loving it. It was disgusting, while Diane Degette's stance on no GMO seeds in America and food safety was the one and only issue i agreed with her on, i also disagreed with her solutions to the problem. Diane Degette thinks that MORE government involvement and more government bureaucracy is the solution, when that is apart of the problem. Really government involvement in our food is unconstitutional.
And while they were praising Diane Degette as a great leader for the people, mean while she's voted on every legislation that enslaves the people more and takes away more liberties and personal freedoms away from you. I was really disgusted to see her in the documentary portrayed as a great person when she's really a fucking demon. They could have just as easily interviewed Ron Paul or Dennis Kucinich who have both pushed for food freedom for the people that doesn't involve more government, but more personal freedom for farmers and consumers.
Then another thing that irritated me was when they were talking about the illegal aliens, mostly from Mexico that work in all the big meat packing plants. They start showing video of ICE busting into the illegal aliens homes and deporting them, and the narrator is all saying,"these people are being treated like criminals when they're the ones who help to put that holiday ham on your dinner table." Um, hello, they ARE criminals!! They're here illegally, taking away jobs from citizens. Hello? While at the same time they talked about how the workers are being treated unfairly and being abused, which does go on and is wrong, and they did point out how the companies are never in trouble for hiring the illegals in the first place, but they didn't need to point the finger at ICE for deporting them when that is their job, and these people ARE here ILLEGALLY!
Then they go into Monsanto, and they totally sugar coat it! Although i will admit, the disc i got from Netflix was scratched and of coarse the part where they talk about Monsanto is where the disc was scratched so i didn't see about 3 minutes of the Monsanto part. The the whole Monsanto part was about 5 or 6 minutes (really, the most evil company that has a monopoly over seeds and they only cover it for 5 or 6 minutes out of a two hour documentary) and they just interviewed a few farmers who have gone to court with Monsanto over their GMO seeds. And then they don't even really go into all of the scientific studies that have been done on the food when they give it to animals they all die! Like the GMO potatoes and the pigs they fed it to all DIED!! And we're eating this shit! They didn't go into how the GMO seeds literally rot the soil, and how farmers in India land up committing suicide because it rots their whole land and they can't farm anymore to provide for their families so they just fucking kill themselves.
On the other hand though, they did show how in both the Clinton and Bush administrations have Monsanto employees in key positions in the FDA, USDA, and EPA. So that was good, but they definitely did not go far enough into the evils of Monsanto, they really just skimmed over a lot of facts and studies they could of nailed them to the wall with.
And then their solution at the end of the movie was more government regulations is good and more government involvement will help to solve it, not pointing out the fascist state. They do point the finger at the huge companies and how evil they are, and they basically blame the government for incompetence. But they didn't push enough to the point of fascism that we're at, the definition of fascism is the marriage of government and corporations, which is exactly what we have in the food industry in the United States. So they really pussied out on that point too.
So all in all, it's a really good starter documentary for people who know nothing about where your food comes from in the grocery store and the fast food line, and what it can do to your health. Oh yeah, that's another thing that they don't go into enough. They do point out how all the junk food and fast food is causing more and more people to become obese and get type 2 diabetes, but that's it. They don't mention all the other health effects that have been proven to be related to all the processed food, and fast food.
Aw, i better stop i keep finding things that bug me about the movie!! Well, i guess i better try to get some more sleep. see ya later...
Another middle of the night entry. I had a bad migraine earlier, and it finally subsided after a little sleep and i'm up now.
I watched "Food, Inc." earlier, it was pretty much what i thought it was gonna be. Martha Stewart and all the "organic" food chains were really pushing it when it came out in theaters. It was alright i guess, it didn't touch too much on anything new for me, it went through all of what i already knew.
It definitely wasn't as hard core as some other food documentaries that i've seen, and i was fully anticipating that because it was a major documentary released all over the U.S. Like it didn't even talk about MSG or aspartame. It did mention high fructose corn syrup, but didn't go into how bad it is for your health, it just talked about how 90% of what is sold in the grocery store is made from corn, and how we're feeding corn to animals now, and in turn we're eating the animals that were fed the corn.
However it did talk about one thing that i wasn't aware of, it mentioned how the chickens from 50 years ago were a lot smaller, and how humans have basically engineered chickens to be fatter now. They went into a chicken coop of a chicken farmer for one of the major chicken companies, and that was really disturbing. I can't watch videos of the animal farms for these major companies because it's just so disturbing what goes on. It wasn't too bad, it definitely did not show the cannibalism that goes on in a lot of these farms, but it did show the chickens falling down, barely being able to move because they are so fat, and how they walk around in their own shit with dead chickens everywhere. The Tyson chicken farm, one of the biggest chicken producers in the country, they didn't film the inside of it, but they did interview one of the chicken farmers and he talked about how the chickens are not allowed in the sunlight, they have to be kept in the chicken coop at all times, to be kept in the dark at all times. Pretty disturbing.
The documentary did not talk about the cannibalism at all though. In an interview with an organic farmer he did mention the cannibalism but that was it.
There were definitely a few things about the documentary that irritated me and got under my skin. Like for example, they follow this lady and her mom who go to Washington D.C. to push for food safety because the lady had lost her son to e coli poisoning from ground beef. And they go and talk to my old Congresswoman Diane Degette! And the movie puts her on this pedestal like she's some fucking hero for the people, the lady even calls her a hero and they show Diane Degette just beaming at being called a hero, just completely loving it. It was disgusting, while Diane Degette's stance on no GMO seeds in America and food safety was the one and only issue i agreed with her on, i also disagreed with her solutions to the problem. Diane Degette thinks that MORE government involvement and more government bureaucracy is the solution, when that is apart of the problem. Really government involvement in our food is unconstitutional.
And while they were praising Diane Degette as a great leader for the people, mean while she's voted on every legislation that enslaves the people more and takes away more liberties and personal freedoms away from you. I was really disgusted to see her in the documentary portrayed as a great person when she's really a fucking demon. They could have just as easily interviewed Ron Paul or Dennis Kucinich who have both pushed for food freedom for the people that doesn't involve more government, but more personal freedom for farmers and consumers.
Then another thing that irritated me was when they were talking about the illegal aliens, mostly from Mexico that work in all the big meat packing plants. They start showing video of ICE busting into the illegal aliens homes and deporting them, and the narrator is all saying,"these people are being treated like criminals when they're the ones who help to put that holiday ham on your dinner table." Um, hello, they ARE criminals!! They're here illegally, taking away jobs from citizens. Hello? While at the same time they talked about how the workers are being treated unfairly and being abused, which does go on and is wrong, and they did point out how the companies are never in trouble for hiring the illegals in the first place, but they didn't need to point the finger at ICE for deporting them when that is their job, and these people ARE here ILLEGALLY!
Then they go into Monsanto, and they totally sugar coat it! Although i will admit, the disc i got from Netflix was scratched and of coarse the part where they talk about Monsanto is where the disc was scratched so i didn't see about 3 minutes of the Monsanto part. The the whole Monsanto part was about 5 or 6 minutes (really, the most evil company that has a monopoly over seeds and they only cover it for 5 or 6 minutes out of a two hour documentary) and they just interviewed a few farmers who have gone to court with Monsanto over their GMO seeds. And then they don't even really go into all of the scientific studies that have been done on the food when they give it to animals they all die! Like the GMO potatoes and the pigs they fed it to all DIED!! And we're eating this shit! They didn't go into how the GMO seeds literally rot the soil, and how farmers in India land up committing suicide because it rots their whole land and they can't farm anymore to provide for their families so they just fucking kill themselves.
On the other hand though, they did show how in both the Clinton and Bush administrations have Monsanto employees in key positions in the FDA, USDA, and EPA. So that was good, but they definitely did not go far enough into the evils of Monsanto, they really just skimmed over a lot of facts and studies they could of nailed them to the wall with.
And then their solution at the end of the movie was more government regulations is good and more government involvement will help to solve it, not pointing out the fascist state. They do point the finger at the huge companies and how evil they are, and they basically blame the government for incompetence. But they didn't push enough to the point of fascism that we're at, the definition of fascism is the marriage of government and corporations, which is exactly what we have in the food industry in the United States. So they really pussied out on that point too.
So all in all, it's a really good starter documentary for people who know nothing about where your food comes from in the grocery store and the fast food line, and what it can do to your health. Oh yeah, that's another thing that they don't go into enough. They do point out how all the junk food and fast food is causing more and more people to become obese and get type 2 diabetes, but that's it. They don't mention all the other health effects that have been proven to be related to all the processed food, and fast food.
Aw, i better stop i keep finding things that bug me about the movie!! Well, i guess i better try to get some more sleep. see ya later...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The American corporate media does not serve the truth. It serves the government and the interest groups that empower the government.
The last couple days this week have been crazy. Now i was really sad to read that former deputy treasury secretary and Wall Street Journal columnist Paul Craig Roberts isn't going to be writing anymore. He wrote his last article for Infowars.com i guess, basically saying America is a police state and the media is completely bought off.
Over the last few years he really has changed his positions on a lot of areas. First he said the neo con's were at fault for all the problems America has, and he got behind Obama. Now that Obama has been a totally let down and a two faced liar, he now says the two parties are the same.
He said the cause of 9/11 was failures and incompetence of the intelligence agencies and the Bush administration, now he has said that without a doubt 9/11 was an inside job.
I really liked his opinions on things, i had never heard of him until i started listening to The Alex Jones Show, but Paul Craig Roberts is a former Regan administration official, so it is pretty crazy to have him talking about all this stuff, it's no wonder why the main stream media stopped publishing his columns and stopped interviewing him, like he talks about in his last article.
I also like how he points out how America is a police state now by talking about the much under reported fact that the Director of National Intelligence testified in front of Congress that the Obama Administration is continuing with Bush era policies of killing US citizens that the president deems a terrorist! All of this told to the Congress and nothing happened! No one was arrested, no investigations into this shit. Nothing. That by all definitions is a police state!
So, I'm sorry to hear that Paul Craig Roberts won't be writing anymore, i hope he still goes on the Alex Jones Show from time to time though. Here is his article, along with an interview he did on Russia Today talking about the policy of killing American citizens.
Good-Bye: Truth Has Fallen and Taken Liberty With It
Paul Craig Roberts
Infowars.com
March 24, 2010
Editor: When Paul Craig Roberts gave us permission to post this article, he indicated to Alex Jones that it would probably be his last. Regular readers of PCR’s outstanding columns will be disappointed to hear that he is bowing out for the time being. Alex will discuss the reasons behind this on tomorrow’s show. Roberts has also told us that he will probably appear as a guest on The Alex Jones Show later next week to expand on why he has decided to “sign off,” as he puts it in the following article.
There was a time when the pen was mightier than the sword. That was a time when people believed in truth and regarded truth as an independent power and not as an auxiliary for government, class, race, ideological, personal, or financial interest.
As the pen is censored and its might extinguished, I am signing off.
Today Americans are ruled by propaganda. Americans have little regard for truth, little access to it, and little ability to recognize it.
Truth is an unwelcome entity. It is disturbing. It is off limits. Those who speak it run the risk of being branded “anti-American,” “anti-semite” or “conspiracy theorist.”
Truth is an inconvenience for government and for the interest groups whose campaign contributions control government.
Truth is an inconvenience for prosecutors who want convictions, not the discovery of innocence or guilt.
Truth is inconvenient for ideologues.
Today many whose goal once was the discovery of truth are now paid handsomely to hide it. “Free market economists” are paid to sell offshoring to the American people. High-productivity, high value-added American jobs are denigrated as dirty, old industrial jobs. Relicts from long ago, we are best shed of them. Their place has been taken by “the New Economy,” a mythical economy that allegedly consists of high-tech white collar jobs in which Americans innovate and finance activities that occur offshore. All Americans need in order to participate in this “new economy” are finance degrees from Ivy League universities, and then they will work on Wall Street at million dollar jobs.
Economists who were once respectable took money to contribute to this myth of “the New Economy.”
And not only economists sell their souls for filthy lucre. Recently we have had reports of medical doctors who, for money, have published in peer-reviewed journals concocted “studies” that hype this or that new medicine produced by pharmaceutical companies that paid for the “studies.”
The Council of Europe is investigating the drug companies’ role in hyping a false swine flu pandemic in order to gain billions of dollars in sales of the vaccine.
The media helped the US military hype its recent Marja offensive in Afghanistan, describing Marja as a city of 80,000 under Taliban control. It turns out that Marja is not urban but a collection of village farms.
And there is the global warming scandal, in which NGOs. the UN, and the nuclear industry colluded in concocting a doomsday scenario in order to create profit in pollution.
Wherever one looks, truth has fallen to money.
Wherever money is insufficient to bury the truth, ignorance, propaganda, and short memories finish the job.
I remember when, following CIA director William Colby’s testimony before the Church Committee in the mid-1970s, presidents Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan issued executive orders preventing the CIA and U.S. black-op groups from assassinating foreign leaders. In 2010 the US Congress was told by Dennis Blair, head of national intelligence, that the US now assassinates its own citizens in addition to foreign leaders.
When Blair told the House Intelligence Committee that US citizens no longer needed to be arrested, charged, tried, and convicted of a capital crime, just murdered on suspicion alone of being a “threat,” he wasn’t impeached. No investigation pursued. Nothing happened. There was no Church Committee. In the mid-1970s the CIA got into trouble for plots to kill Castro. Today it is American citizens who are on the hit list. Whatever objections there might be don’t carry any weight. No one in government is in any trouble over the assassination of U.S. citizens by the U.S. government.
As an economist, I am astonished that the American economics profession has no awareness whatsoever that the U.S. economy has been destroyed by the offshoring of U.S. GDP to overseas countries. U.S. corporations, in pursuit of absolute advantage or lowest labor costs and maximum CEO “performance bonuses,” have moved the production of goods and services marketed to Americans to China, India, and elsewhere abroad. When I read economists describe offshoring as free trade based on comparative advantage, I realize that there is no intelligence or integrity in the American economics profession.
Intelligence and integrity have been purchased by money. The transnational or global U.S. corporations pay multi-million dollar compensation packages to top managers, who achieve these “performance awards” by replacing U.S. labor with foreign labor. While Washington worries about “the Muslim threat,” Wall Street, U.S. corporations and “free market” shills destroy the U.S. economy and the prospects of tens of millions of Americans.
Americans, or most of them, have proved to be putty in the hands of the police state.
Americans have bought into the government’s claim that security requires the suspension of civil liberties and accountable government. Astonishingly, Americans, or most of them, believe that civil liberties, such as habeas corpus and due process, protect “terrorists,” and not themselves. Many also believe that the Constitution is a tired old document that prevents government from exercising the kind of police state powers necessary to keep Americans safe and free.
Most Americans are unlikely to hear from anyone who would tell them any different.
I was associate editor and columnist for the Wall Street Journal. I was Business Week’s first outside columnist, a position I held for 15 years. I was columnist for a decade for Scripps Howard News Service, carried in 300 newspapers. I was a columnist for the Washington Times and for newspapers in France and Italy and for a magazine in Germany. I was a contributor to the New York Times and a regular feature in the Los Angeles Times. Today I cannot publish in, or appear on, the American “mainstream media.”
For the last six years I have been banned from the “mainstream media.” My last column in the New York Times appeared in January, 2004, coauthored with Democratic U.S. Senator Charles Schumer representing New York. We addressed the offshoring of U.S. jobs. Our op-ed article produced a conference at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C. and live coverage by C-Span. A debate was launched. No such thing could happen today.
For years I was a mainstay at the Washington Times, producing credibility for the Moony newspaper as a Business Week columnist, former Wall Street Journal editor, and former Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Treasury. But when I began criticizing Bush’s wars of aggression, the order came down to Mary Lou Forbes to cancel my column.
The American corporate media does not serve the truth. It serves the government and the interest groups that empower the government.
America’s fate was sealed when the public and the anti-war movement bought the government’s 9/11 conspiracy theory. The government’s account of 9/11 is contradicted by much evidence. Nevertheless, this defining event of our time, which has launched the US on interminable wars of aggression and a domestic police state, is a taboo topic for investigation in the media. It is pointless to complain of war and a police state when one accepts the premise upon which they are based.
These trillion dollar wars have created financing problems for Washington’s deficits and threaten the U.S. dollar’s role as world reserve currency. The wars and the pressure that the budget deficits put on the dollar’s value have put Social Security and Medicare on the chopping block. Former Goldman Sachs chairman and U.S. Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson is after these protections for the elderly. Fed chairman Bernanke is also after them. The Republicans are after them as well. These protections are called “entitlements” as if they are some sort of welfare that people have not paid for in payroll taxes all their working lives.
With over 21 per cent unemployment as measured by the methodology of 1980, with American jobs, GDP, and technology having been given to China and India, with war being Washington’s greatest commitment, with the dollar over-burdened with debt, with civil liberty sacrificed to the “war on terror,” the liberty and prosperity of the American people have been thrown into the trash bin of history.
The militarism of the U.S. and Israeli states, and Wall Street and corporate greed, will now run their course. As the pen is censored and its might extinguished, I am signing off.
The last couple days this week have been crazy. Now i was really sad to read that former deputy treasury secretary and Wall Street Journal columnist Paul Craig Roberts isn't going to be writing anymore. He wrote his last article for Infowars.com i guess, basically saying America is a police state and the media is completely bought off.
Over the last few years he really has changed his positions on a lot of areas. First he said the neo con's were at fault for all the problems America has, and he got behind Obama. Now that Obama has been a totally let down and a two faced liar, he now says the two parties are the same.
He said the cause of 9/11 was failures and incompetence of the intelligence agencies and the Bush administration, now he has said that without a doubt 9/11 was an inside job.
I really liked his opinions on things, i had never heard of him until i started listening to The Alex Jones Show, but Paul Craig Roberts is a former Regan administration official, so it is pretty crazy to have him talking about all this stuff, it's no wonder why the main stream media stopped publishing his columns and stopped interviewing him, like he talks about in his last article.
I also like how he points out how America is a police state now by talking about the much under reported fact that the Director of National Intelligence testified in front of Congress that the Obama Administration is continuing with Bush era policies of killing US citizens that the president deems a terrorist! All of this told to the Congress and nothing happened! No one was arrested, no investigations into this shit. Nothing. That by all definitions is a police state!
So, I'm sorry to hear that Paul Craig Roberts won't be writing anymore, i hope he still goes on the Alex Jones Show from time to time though. Here is his article, along with an interview he did on Russia Today talking about the policy of killing American citizens.
Good-Bye: Truth Has Fallen and Taken Liberty With It
Paul Craig Roberts
Infowars.com
March 24, 2010
Editor: When Paul Craig Roberts gave us permission to post this article, he indicated to Alex Jones that it would probably be his last. Regular readers of PCR’s outstanding columns will be disappointed to hear that he is bowing out for the time being. Alex will discuss the reasons behind this on tomorrow’s show. Roberts has also told us that he will probably appear as a guest on The Alex Jones Show later next week to expand on why he has decided to “sign off,” as he puts it in the following article.
There was a time when the pen was mightier than the sword. That was a time when people believed in truth and regarded truth as an independent power and not as an auxiliary for government, class, race, ideological, personal, or financial interest.
As the pen is censored and its might extinguished, I am signing off.
Today Americans are ruled by propaganda. Americans have little regard for truth, little access to it, and little ability to recognize it.
Truth is an unwelcome entity. It is disturbing. It is off limits. Those who speak it run the risk of being branded “anti-American,” “anti-semite” or “conspiracy theorist.”
Truth is an inconvenience for government and for the interest groups whose campaign contributions control government.
Truth is an inconvenience for prosecutors who want convictions, not the discovery of innocence or guilt.
Truth is inconvenient for ideologues.
Today many whose goal once was the discovery of truth are now paid handsomely to hide it. “Free market economists” are paid to sell offshoring to the American people. High-productivity, high value-added American jobs are denigrated as dirty, old industrial jobs. Relicts from long ago, we are best shed of them. Their place has been taken by “the New Economy,” a mythical economy that allegedly consists of high-tech white collar jobs in which Americans innovate and finance activities that occur offshore. All Americans need in order to participate in this “new economy” are finance degrees from Ivy League universities, and then they will work on Wall Street at million dollar jobs.
Economists who were once respectable took money to contribute to this myth of “the New Economy.”
And not only economists sell their souls for filthy lucre. Recently we have had reports of medical doctors who, for money, have published in peer-reviewed journals concocted “studies” that hype this or that new medicine produced by pharmaceutical companies that paid for the “studies.”
The Council of Europe is investigating the drug companies’ role in hyping a false swine flu pandemic in order to gain billions of dollars in sales of the vaccine.
The media helped the US military hype its recent Marja offensive in Afghanistan, describing Marja as a city of 80,000 under Taliban control. It turns out that Marja is not urban but a collection of village farms.
And there is the global warming scandal, in which NGOs. the UN, and the nuclear industry colluded in concocting a doomsday scenario in order to create profit in pollution.
Wherever one looks, truth has fallen to money.
Wherever money is insufficient to bury the truth, ignorance, propaganda, and short memories finish the job.
I remember when, following CIA director William Colby’s testimony before the Church Committee in the mid-1970s, presidents Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan issued executive orders preventing the CIA and U.S. black-op groups from assassinating foreign leaders. In 2010 the US Congress was told by Dennis Blair, head of national intelligence, that the US now assassinates its own citizens in addition to foreign leaders.
When Blair told the House Intelligence Committee that US citizens no longer needed to be arrested, charged, tried, and convicted of a capital crime, just murdered on suspicion alone of being a “threat,” he wasn’t impeached. No investigation pursued. Nothing happened. There was no Church Committee. In the mid-1970s the CIA got into trouble for plots to kill Castro. Today it is American citizens who are on the hit list. Whatever objections there might be don’t carry any weight. No one in government is in any trouble over the assassination of U.S. citizens by the U.S. government.
As an economist, I am astonished that the American economics profession has no awareness whatsoever that the U.S. economy has been destroyed by the offshoring of U.S. GDP to overseas countries. U.S. corporations, in pursuit of absolute advantage or lowest labor costs and maximum CEO “performance bonuses,” have moved the production of goods and services marketed to Americans to China, India, and elsewhere abroad. When I read economists describe offshoring as free trade based on comparative advantage, I realize that there is no intelligence or integrity in the American economics profession.
Intelligence and integrity have been purchased by money. The transnational or global U.S. corporations pay multi-million dollar compensation packages to top managers, who achieve these “performance awards” by replacing U.S. labor with foreign labor. While Washington worries about “the Muslim threat,” Wall Street, U.S. corporations and “free market” shills destroy the U.S. economy and the prospects of tens of millions of Americans.
Americans, or most of them, have proved to be putty in the hands of the police state.
Americans have bought into the government’s claim that security requires the suspension of civil liberties and accountable government. Astonishingly, Americans, or most of them, believe that civil liberties, such as habeas corpus and due process, protect “terrorists,” and not themselves. Many also believe that the Constitution is a tired old document that prevents government from exercising the kind of police state powers necessary to keep Americans safe and free.
Most Americans are unlikely to hear from anyone who would tell them any different.
I was associate editor and columnist for the Wall Street Journal. I was Business Week’s first outside columnist, a position I held for 15 years. I was columnist for a decade for Scripps Howard News Service, carried in 300 newspapers. I was a columnist for the Washington Times and for newspapers in France and Italy and for a magazine in Germany. I was a contributor to the New York Times and a regular feature in the Los Angeles Times. Today I cannot publish in, or appear on, the American “mainstream media.”
For the last six years I have been banned from the “mainstream media.” My last column in the New York Times appeared in January, 2004, coauthored with Democratic U.S. Senator Charles Schumer representing New York. We addressed the offshoring of U.S. jobs. Our op-ed article produced a conference at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C. and live coverage by C-Span. A debate was launched. No such thing could happen today.
For years I was a mainstay at the Washington Times, producing credibility for the Moony newspaper as a Business Week columnist, former Wall Street Journal editor, and former Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Treasury. But when I began criticizing Bush’s wars of aggression, the order came down to Mary Lou Forbes to cancel my column.
The American corporate media does not serve the truth. It serves the government and the interest groups that empower the government.
America’s fate was sealed when the public and the anti-war movement bought the government’s 9/11 conspiracy theory. The government’s account of 9/11 is contradicted by much evidence. Nevertheless, this defining event of our time, which has launched the US on interminable wars of aggression and a domestic police state, is a taboo topic for investigation in the media. It is pointless to complain of war and a police state when one accepts the premise upon which they are based.
These trillion dollar wars have created financing problems for Washington’s deficits and threaten the U.S. dollar’s role as world reserve currency. The wars and the pressure that the budget deficits put on the dollar’s value have put Social Security and Medicare on the chopping block. Former Goldman Sachs chairman and U.S. Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson is after these protections for the elderly. Fed chairman Bernanke is also after them. The Republicans are after them as well. These protections are called “entitlements” as if they are some sort of welfare that people have not paid for in payroll taxes all their working lives.
With over 21 per cent unemployment as measured by the methodology of 1980, with American jobs, GDP, and technology having been given to China and India, with war being Washington’s greatest commitment, with the dollar over-burdened with debt, with civil liberty sacrificed to the “war on terror,” the liberty and prosperity of the American people have been thrown into the trash bin of history.
The militarism of the U.S. and Israeli states, and Wall Street and corporate greed, will now run their course. As the pen is censored and its might extinguished, I am signing off.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
We're all Slaves Now, and the Constitution is officially Dead!
I'm so fucking mad right now! Nancy Pelosi, and the members of the House have made a total mockery of what the founding fathers set up for this country and have completely used the Constitution to wipe their shitty asses with it, and claiming proudly that it's wonderful! Traitors! Everyone who voted for Government run health care should be jailed for treason against the Republic! With this piece of shit legislation we're all slaves now, just like with the income tax or the Federal Reserve Act, and the Patriot Act.
There is no free lunch here, the government isn't good at anything but lying and stealing. The way that it was passed too was just Mafia 101, arm twisting, back room deals. Who knows what the fuck Obama promised Dennis Kucinich, but the little amount of respect I had left for him is now completely gone. He caved in and surrendered his principals when he knew this shit was a total fraud and a rip off of the American people.
It's just like the banker bailout, it's not gonna help anything, it's a fucking robbery!! And now the IRS has even more power, and will be the strong arm to enforce this shit.
You think the economy is bad now? Just fucking wait, we are gonna have a financial collapse the like the world has NEVER seen! Nobody has really said how we are gonna pay for this shit, but the government is sure as hell gonna make sure YOU pay for it.
I was kinda on the fence if i was gonna go out to Nevada to get some gun training done, but now that this shit has passed and the economic effects it will have on the country, I think I would be completely insane if I didn't go get training done and finally get a gun, because shit will hit the fan.
And then yesterday the fucking disgusting news media demonized the protesters outside the Capital (again) saying if you were against Obamacare, you are a racist, a homophobic, and you hate women! Because they were yelling at Nancy Pelosi walking inside. She deserves to be yelled at, that fucking whore of the New World Order! That bitch needs to put in jail for treason, along with everyone else who voted for it!
Throwing it in your fucking face how unconstitutional it is, and then rubbing shit in the memory of Thomas Jefferson. It says absolutely nothing in the Declaration of Independence about having the government FORCE you to buy a good or service. Nor does it say that in the Constitution anywhere! And these fucking morons who think you have a "right" to health care, have obviously never taken American Government at the fucking high school level or have even bothered to read the Bill of Rights because it doesn't say one fucking thing about you having a right to someone else's services!
Like Ron Paul says, and he has to explain it to the news media and the American people like they're children because people are so fucking dumbed down from all the t.v. and the chemicals in the food and water.
He says, explaining it in basics, American Government 101, you have a right to your life, your liberty, and your happiness. You have a right to protect yourself if someone tries to take away your liberty or your life. You have a RESPONSIBILITY to take care of yourself! Did you hear that, RESPONSIBILITY!! The founding fathers told us over and over that we have to have personal responsibility. That's why the Constitution was written to restrict the government in the way that it is, the Constitution was not written to have the government give you everything, because government has nothing.
I could just cry this is such basic shit that everyone should know and people don't. and when you tell them they think you're a conspiracy theorist! When all they have to do is go read the fucking Constitution!!! It's written very simply, school children should be able to read it!
But who gives a shit right, the Constitution, much like when the Patriot Act was passed, was used for nothing more than toilet paper yesterday.
I'm so fucking mad right now! Nancy Pelosi, and the members of the House have made a total mockery of what the founding fathers set up for this country and have completely used the Constitution to wipe their shitty asses with it, and claiming proudly that it's wonderful! Traitors! Everyone who voted for Government run health care should be jailed for treason against the Republic! With this piece of shit legislation we're all slaves now, just like with the income tax or the Federal Reserve Act, and the Patriot Act.
There is no free lunch here, the government isn't good at anything but lying and stealing. The way that it was passed too was just Mafia 101, arm twisting, back room deals. Who knows what the fuck Obama promised Dennis Kucinich, but the little amount of respect I had left for him is now completely gone. He caved in and surrendered his principals when he knew this shit was a total fraud and a rip off of the American people.
It's just like the banker bailout, it's not gonna help anything, it's a fucking robbery!! And now the IRS has even more power, and will be the strong arm to enforce this shit.
You think the economy is bad now? Just fucking wait, we are gonna have a financial collapse the like the world has NEVER seen! Nobody has really said how we are gonna pay for this shit, but the government is sure as hell gonna make sure YOU pay for it.
I was kinda on the fence if i was gonna go out to Nevada to get some gun training done, but now that this shit has passed and the economic effects it will have on the country, I think I would be completely insane if I didn't go get training done and finally get a gun, because shit will hit the fan.
And then yesterday the fucking disgusting news media demonized the protesters outside the Capital (again) saying if you were against Obamacare, you are a racist, a homophobic, and you hate women! Because they were yelling at Nancy Pelosi walking inside. She deserves to be yelled at, that fucking whore of the New World Order! That bitch needs to put in jail for treason, along with everyone else who voted for it!
Throwing it in your fucking face how unconstitutional it is, and then rubbing shit in the memory of Thomas Jefferson. It says absolutely nothing in the Declaration of Independence about having the government FORCE you to buy a good or service. Nor does it say that in the Constitution anywhere! And these fucking morons who think you have a "right" to health care, have obviously never taken American Government at the fucking high school level or have even bothered to read the Bill of Rights because it doesn't say one fucking thing about you having a right to someone else's services!
Like Ron Paul says, and he has to explain it to the news media and the American people like they're children because people are so fucking dumbed down from all the t.v. and the chemicals in the food and water.
He says, explaining it in basics, American Government 101, you have a right to your life, your liberty, and your happiness. You have a right to protect yourself if someone tries to take away your liberty or your life. You have a RESPONSIBILITY to take care of yourself! Did you hear that, RESPONSIBILITY!! The founding fathers told us over and over that we have to have personal responsibility. That's why the Constitution was written to restrict the government in the way that it is, the Constitution was not written to have the government give you everything, because government has nothing.
I could just cry this is such basic shit that everyone should know and people don't. and when you tell them they think you're a conspiracy theorist! When all they have to do is go read the fucking Constitution!!! It's written very simply, school children should be able to read it!
But who gives a shit right, the Constitution, much like when the Patriot Act was passed, was used for nothing more than toilet paper yesterday.
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