I had what i like to call a "trigger moment" tonight.  We unpacked the Wii stuff to hook up to the t.v. and my youngest daughter was going through it, having good memories of playing the Wii with her dad, and they started playing and there was his avatar.  Of coarse my oldest daughter had a problem seeing it, and deleted it.  When she was going to delete it, my youngest one came up to me in kind of a panic saying her sister was deleting her dad.  I had to remind her that he's not gonna be around to play it with her and there was no reason to have him on the Wii anymore.  She settled down right away and went right back to having fun playing with her sister.  But for me it killed me to see her kind of panic seeing her dad disappear again.  Fuck, i'm so pissed at him!  Two children i have with no fathers.  anyway, so as soon as they went to bed i fucking lost it and cried my eyes out.  I've been doing really good lately with my emotions.  I only have my "trigger moments" when i get down.  Parts of the day that remind me of him or if someone brings it up.   I don't remember if i wrote about this before but i was suppose to go testify on the 28th for his preliminary hearing, but the detective couldn't make it so they rescheduled it for Sept. 9th now.  I'm REALLY not looking forward to it.
Since i last wrote in here though, i hooked back up with a good good friend of mine from high school.  I of coarse told her about what happened with Justin, and she knows Justin, so it was shocking for her.  She's been really sweet and very supportive.  The day i was suppose to go to court she sent me a text telling me she was thinking of me, but i had to tell her it had been cancelled. 
My brother and me went to A Perfect Circle the other day, that was really fun.  It rained again, second concert we've been to where it was outside and raining.  it actually wasn't too bad this time.  When we saw System Of A Down a couple months ago, it rained HARD the entire show.  That and i kept thinking of Justin cuz i was suppose to go to that concert with him, it really kind of ruined the entire show for me. 
I recently found out that two of Justin's cousins are saying their really pissed at him and don't want to have much to do with him, and that to his family he's not really denying any of what's come out.  Makes me wonder if he'll plead guilty at the court hearing.  Well, guess i'll find out in a month. 
Well, i'm tired, i'm gonna try to get some sleep.  Once i started crying like crazy i knew it was time to write in here again.  See ya later...